Close call

Still the dr. hasnt called me back. looks like im going to have to call again. temptations is brutal today. the cravings are bad. last night my fiance has me go and get him 4 vicodin until he can fill his script on sunday. he is one of the causes of my relapses because he ALWAYS has vicodin. and why would you ask me to go and get it for you when your out. then again why would i do it because i did. and there it started. i woke up this morning and its all im thinking about. trying to get busy but its holding me back. i tried to get something this morning because my friend owes me $ so i tried to get a pill. but thank goodness nothing was there no pills. no $ either so that is a good thing! there is no one else i can ask because i told everyone if i asked to tell me no, no matter what. I am going to get through today. 1 min at a time. but i AM going to stay strong and not give in. i just wish the drs would call me back already.

Be as strong as you can be. I know what it's like to be jonsing and have temptaion all around. It's amazing what our brains conjure up to justify our cravings. The brain will work at all levels until usage is justifiable no matter how irrational.

Being an addict it gets tough doing the simplest task without drugs which makes it even harder to quite. Living with people that are still using must be real tough. I abandoned all my, so called (drug) friends and got rid of their phone numbers to try and remove the temptation to use. I could get whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. It was a recipe for disaster.

Stay strong. You have some tough decisions to make.

Best wishes,
akhenaten