Close your eyes for a second. Take a deep breathe in. And ou

Close your eyes for a second. Take a deep breathe in. And out. Now, think back to a time when you were REALLY depressed/sad. Think back why you felt that way. Now imagine me, your supposed best friend, telling you that reason that made you so sad wasn’t a good enough reason for me to stay friends with you.

Now imagine you had a person in your life who treated you like a piece of dog **** on the sidewalk for a majority of your life. Physically and mentally abused you over the course of your childhood, so it’s practically all you knew of relationships and talks bad about you and talks down to you for YEARS after that and it’s left you not only scarred but fearful of any relationships of any kind and left you feeling empty with super low self esteem and completely insecure about everything and everyone. Now, imagine I, being your supposed best friend, told you that you had to put a time limit on those feelings and insecurities that you still have or we can’t be friends anymore.

Now, imagine that I, being your supposed best friend, talk bad about you and criticize and judge you behind your back, then come to you and say I can’t be friends with you anymore because I worry you are criticizing and judging me behind my back and that you are hateful, negative and judgmental. Now imagine that you suffer from pretty debilitating panic attacks frequently and I was literally your only friend.

What feelings would you be feeling right now about me?

1 Heart

Just for clarification “ I shouldn’t have ghosted you. That was ****** on my part and you didn’t deserve that.

I wrote many responses to both messages but didn’t send them. The pets thing was a line cross, but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t said ****** things to lash out.

The reason I unceremoniously put distance between us was partly because I was in a really bad place (still kind of am but not quite as bad?) and I felt like you had become a very negative presence. For example, you’ve dealt with depression just like me, but always insisted others were to blame like Corey, or sometimes Aaron. And you insisted any therapists were incompetent. I’m not saying you’re fully to blame for how you feel but it did feel like you chose to hold on to those hurts rather than really try to heal. Another part was that you seem to be incredibly critical of others. It didn’t matter if it was just someone random or people on Facebook. You’d judge them so easily and it always made me wonder how much you were judging me. Even when I wasn’t around you, Facebook would show me comments you’d make putting down complete strangers whether it was warranted or not. It just felt exhausting to imagine feeling that much hate and negativity, so on a particularly rough day, I happened to see a hateful comment to someone over a news article and kind of just snapped.

I’m sorry I simply cut you out instead of telling you upfront. I see so much hate everywhere these days and just couldn’t hold on to what felt like a constant source. I’m sorry.“

How pathetic and depressing is it when I can’t even get anyone to talk to me in a SUPPORT GROUP FOR LONELY PEOPLE. Holy duck. To all of you who think you are invisible and worthless, just look at my life and feel better knowing I am the most invisible and worthless monster ever.

@Dovah8632 some people might have not been able to relate or didn’t really know what to say. I know for me personally, I got a little confused reading it. I hope your day is going well tho.