Hello,
I am newly single out of a 2 year relationship with an addict. I have left several times before, in the form of "running away" (physically moving out without notice) I have a huge fear built inside of me of being hurt, so I leave first- i guess.. I'm not really sure I understand my behavior and why I do the things I do, the only thing I can trace it back to is childhood abuse by my father, growing up with just my mother in my life, very few friends and getting involved in a relationship at the age of 15. I want this time to be the last, and I have great intentions of doing so. In the past when I have left- I make it a week and then I go back for needy reasons- my inability to support myself bc I continuously get into co-dependent relationships and am constantly taking care of the person I am with, both emotionally and financially. This has caused me to be unable to care for myself in those ways.
This time (probably bc I am pregnant with his child) I am living with my sister in law, but only for 30 days. After that- I am on my own. I have managed to keep my job but bc I am pregnant my hours have been cut due to my inability to perform certain duties.
So I feel like I am babbling but I'm not sure where to begin with recovering from being co-dependent and how to stay away from him. I'd like to think I am worth more than someone who is an addict, abusive, without a job the list goes on. I'm just not sure where to go from here..
i totally understand how hard it is to resist a failing relationship. i still havent found a way to cope with that. the only way i move on from past relationships is just jumping into a new one right away. this is not the ideal solution!!! but i just cant help it... the only advice i get is just control yourself, dont talk to him, block his number, change email, blah blah blah. im sure youve heard that all before and probably just like me youre sick of hearing it! i know its just not that easy! i know its cliche but it does get better over time! you will start thinking about him less and less and youll learn to live without him. and when you think back on your relationship, dont just think about the good times, remember the bad!! remind yourself that you deserve better than that!! im sorry i feel like im not that much help on giving wise advice, but i do know what your going through and if you need to talk message me and maybe we can help each other out. good luck :)
hi
try and do things slightly differently so that u are filling the hours that u tend to think or talk yourself into returning cos of one bad reason after another although they sound good at the time
one of my girls was a serial dater untill she ended up the worse for a beating then she began work on herself it was a long process but in the end she got there and is happy to be on her own and u will have a child to lavish love and support on in a while so thats the best reason to stay gone do u want your child to live with an addict and all that entails
but no matter what u do i wish u well and a happy time ahead
be kind to yourself today
love D