This is my first time taking part in an online support group or any support group for that matter. I am struggling with confusion and guilt over my current relationship status. My husband of 10 years and I have been divorced now for about 1 year and I currently have been seeing a great man for about 10 months. My boyfriend has recently started drinking as he had been a recovering alcoholic and sober for 5 years. Our relationship has taken a turn for the worst. I love everything about him when he is sober but that has become few and far between. My ex-husband and I have always been very good friends and that was likely the demise of out marriage, we were just really good friends. No chemistry, no compassion, just complacency. He is now asking me to give him another chance and I have considered it. I don't know what to do. I am torn. I love my boyfriend and I love my ex. My family loves my ex as well as and has never accepted my boyfriend in our family; which even makes this harder. Oh, did I mention my ex built me a brand new beautiful home that he lived in for only 2 months. He gave me the house in the divorce because he says he built it for me and I should have it. GUILT GUILT GUILT. What do I do?
do you think that your position came up because the buyfriend is now drinking and that going back to the x would be an easy way out of the challenge your now facing with the boyfriend? would you not be going back to what you called just a friendship not really a marraige? x gave you a house and you feel you owe him something? i'm no therapist just posing questions for you to answer as you are the only one that can really answer them. dones'nt matter what the family thinks, this is your decision and yours alone. consider the options, listen to your heart....either option with have its challenged.....what does your heart tell you.....really.....we really do know our own answers, we just need prompting to dig deep into the truth...others here will sure have other options for you to consider this is just my point of view hun
Thank you so much. Ironically, I am a therapist. You would think I could handle this myself, but it is so easy to advise others on what they should do. When it comes to my personal issues, I am lost. Don't want to hurt feelings and really need to be thinking about me. You are right, I need to be there for my boyfriend and help him through this. He is the one I want to be with and he loves me unconditionally.
Thank you so much for your advice.
dont' forget the aa/alanon routine as you know you can't stop someone from drinking but you can get support from others at alanon meetings. hey hun even therapist need to be therapized (is that even a word hehe)
its much easier to see others and their situations than our own no matter who we are or what we do for a living its called the human condition.
hope we helped ya hun and things work out. in the meantime i have been many years in aa and did the alanon as well so if i can be of help in anyway please let know.
Thank you so very much. I am feeling better already.
aaahhhh good, again my dear if you just need to vent or chat we're here. there is also and alcohol and drug links here on the site if you want input from others users or family/friends of users.....