I am 43 year old recently divorced woman. I have a son. I am a fairly “robust” woman. I have a healthy figure. I am 6 foot tall and i have a very large breasts , side hips and big butt. They make me look huge. .
I often feel powerful and confident, thought sometimes I feel like I can be accidentally intimidating (I’m 6 foot tall”). I’ve learned to be a little extra friendly or goofy with new people so they don’t get that impression.
When I’m feeling low self esteem sometimes I feel too big, and get very self conscious about being larger than other women. But usually I can get out of that headspace by putting on a badass outfit that only a very tall statuesque woman could pull off.
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I identify as straight. I am exclusively attracted to men. About four months ago this 55 year old short skinny white woman was hired as a caregiver in my neighborhood. She looks after this old woman my neighbor. I befriended the caregiver woman About three months ago this small caregiver woman showed up at my door with a bottle of wine. We then went to the living room and started drinking wine and chatting. She started playing a flirty game with me. I was nervous and she could tell. She started touching me and groping me. She said that my hands were sweaty and told me to relax. She didn’t know it was my first time with a woman. She started cuddling me and then we had sex. I never thought I’d let it happen, but did and loved it ! So i started having casual sex with this woman 2/3 times a week. 6 days ago at this woman in wine party this short skinny 41 year old white woman who is a known lesbian approached me, started groping me and kept asking me to have sex with her. We had a couple drinks but definitely weren’t drunk or anything like that, just enough to feel good. I ended up in her house having sex with her. .
I have no clue why but i just love having sex these short skinny white women and just wanted to post and admit that i love it. I enjoy the feeling . It’s so embarrassing but I can’t get enough of it. I love how it feels. But i am totally confused, because i am not sexually attracted to these small weird women I think I have completely become addicted to having sex with them . I still identify as straight . Maybe i am having sex with these two women, because they are physically completely harmless. They are not not tough and strong. They don’t look intimidating. They are just short, skinny, tiny women. I am much bigger and physically stronger than these women. Maybe because subconsciously i know that these short women are not physically threatening to me at all. Maybe because these women are total opposite of me. My clothing makes me stick out like a sore thumb . I am always dressed up to the max, on high heels, full make up on. These two women my sex partners are wearing t shirts, flannels, jeans and flat shoes. Well I guess I am not so straight I mean have sex with women is not something a straight woman does . But I love men and am sexually attracted to them. I never look at a woman out in public and say damn that girl is hot. Nothing about her body or face attracts me. But when I enjoy having sex with these two small weird white women. It is really weird and I don’t understand exactly what sexual orientation I would fit into. I am not sexually attracted to women, but I really like having lesbian sex . Trying to understand this myself.
I found out that the caregiver woman discussed with other women about me, and it doesn’t bother me at all. My employees told me that she is spreading rumors or facts about having sex with me. I am the talk of the town. To be honest i want more women to get in on the action. I want to have sex with more women. I don’t have an issue with someone being shocked, because I am too lol. I LOVE THIS. But i am still CONFUSED about my sexuality. What am I ? Hypersexual? Pansexual?
it is oK to explore and not understand sexuality. It is a learning process. In my life, I was very rigid about beliefs and what was acceptable until much later in life. It is OK to try and understand it all.
Thanks for your response. Why am i enjoying having sex with these small weird inferior women ? I am not attracted to them? It’s so embarrassing but I can’t get enough of it. Why? What do you think? I need your opinion
May I ask why you feel embarrassed?
I wonder if you feel embarrassed because they are so different from the partners you’ve had before?
As long as everything is consensual, you’re not doing anything wrong and it sounds like you are enjoying yourself! Why do you need to label yourself? Can you not just enjoy the ride?
I am concerned about you saying “inferior women.” That sounds cruel.
Because I don’t really desire these two women sexually or romantically, I don’t have any kind of attraction towards them, but I absolutely need sex like that in my life, in fact it’s the only type of sex I want from now on. I feel bad if they think I’m using them or leading them on when realistically all I want from these women is sex. I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to go back to the small world of sex I knew with men but I don’t think there’s a man out there who would realistically understand or would be able to go for hours, over and over, and understand sex as something else than what all straight people know.
Honestly at this point i would let any small tiny women to have sex with me. I realized I take no issue with small women doing it. It is like is instilled in my mind now, that i am there for any short tiny woman who wants to have sex with me.
I definitely feel safe with these two small tiny women my sex partners because they are physically harmless. But i admit to you that if a tall, fat or muscular woman starts groping me trying to have sex with me, i will get upset. I literally had these two women my sex partners tell me that before they met me they hated me because I was overdressed which means I must be a high maintenance bitch, snob, and diva, and they were “surprised” to find out I’m letting them to have sex with me. I admit that that these women are kinda dominating me. I admit to you that i am becoming submissive. The loss of control is kinda exhilarating.
It just feels different to all the guys who pretty much only used my body to make themselves come, this felt like something I gave to these women instead of something they took from me, if that makes sense.
Things is, after absolutely blowing my mind and teaching me all the hundreds of amazing things that sex can be, I feel doomed with men. I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to go back to the small world of sex I knew with men but I don’t think there’s a man out there who would realistically understand or would be able to go for hours, over and over, and understand sex as something else than what all straight people know.
These two women my sex partners are total opposite of me. They are short and skinny . They are always underdressed.I often feel powerful and confident, thought sometimes I feel like I can be accidentally intimidating (I’m 6 foot tall”). I’ve learned to be a little extra friendly or goofy with new people so they don’t get that impression.
When I’m feeling low self esteem sometimes I feel too big, and get very self conscious about being larger than other women. But usually I can get out of that headspace by putting on a badass outfit that only a very tall statuesque woman could pull off.
.My parents are extremely rich. I grew up rich.
I am dressing up everywhere (even for grocery shopping ). The whole shebang, satin/leather/shiny pants/skirts, satin/silk blouses, pantyhose, shapewear, high heels, full make up on, be it morning, noon or evening.
Most of my outfits are well-coordinated in terms of color
I love my style and get lots of compliments on my clothes. . I am always dressed up to the max, on high heels, full make up on.be it morning, noon or evening.
Most of my outfits are well-coordinated in terms of color
I love my style and get lots of compliments on my clothes. I feel confident this way, so i don’t want to dress down .
sounds like you are ejoyng the new experiences and taking it all in. if you enjoy it and it feels good, keep exploring, Dont be afraid to set boundaries for yourself though.
Hello Big Marsha 81, if you are straight but enjoy same gender sex, you could be heteroflexible [identify straight but but you’ve feel attracted to people of the same sex on a few occasions]. It reads that you are pass the experimentally straight place and could be bisexual. It sounds like you are have a blast - enjoy, because life is short … and so is your preference in partners. Seriously Big Marsha 81, you seen to a type that you are attracted to [short skinny white women] and that’s perfectly awesome. Certainly, glad for you and hope you continue to enjoy. Have FUN.
I am enjoying the new experiences. I am taking it all in. But I don’t (currently) want a relationship with any woman. I just want to have sex with these small tiny women
enjoy them, You dont have to have a long term relationship, just enjoy the time you spend with them. You define your life and how you live it. No one else can do that.