This is my first post and just recently I got into therapy because I am having major intimacy issues with my husband. I don't want to have sex or even be intimate on other levels. I have been seeing a therapist for about 2 months now. At first I thought to myself that I simply just fell out of love with my husband but I was told I may want to see someone about my past trauma. 15 years ago I was kidnapped and raped. I escaped after being held captive for about 12 hours. He is in jail for 35 years. About 2 years ago all this happened with the intimacy issues. I never got therapy for this trauma way back when or any other time until now. I simply put it in a box and locked it away. For all these years I told myself and others, "I am totally fine, I escaped, and I am not going to let some piece of **** like him ruin my life". I was very much a minimizer. So I am seeing my therapist and she is telling me what is happening IS related to the rape but I am having a hard time believing it. I am worried that I might really not love my husband and I am fine from what happened to me. Sooooo confused:(
Thats heavy. It really could go either way. BUt do still enjoy your husbands company and everything else you guys do besides the intimates. Do you see has a mate or just a friend. Or maybe something happened you didnt even realize that re-triggered what happened to sub consiuously that made you back away from him. does your husband know what happened? maybe one day it would be good to have him to a session with you. Sorry so many questions...
I definitely enjoy my husband company and everything else in our relationship. Unfortunately sex is a big factor in a relationship and he of course does not feel desired and I am sure at time un-loved:( My therapist did say that for the first time in my life I am in a safe relationship with a man plus I was pregnant and have a now 1 year old and that those things alone could trigger. I am safe so my feelings are able to surface. My husband 100% knows what happened and is very supportive. I do plan to take him to a session in the very near future:)
it is very good he is sticking by your side through this. Hopefully in one of the sessions you can see what triggered it. And if you do feel safe and thats why the feelings arose Im sure youll be able to get through this. But least for now while you still cant be intimate. Show him other ways you love him and appreciate him.