They say to get well you have to really want to. That's my problem. Sure I have days where I don't want to live like this anymore. I also feel bad because I know I am hurting my husband. However I don't want to gain the weight. It's just too scary for me. Anytime I gain weight I can't stand it. I don't know why I place so much importance on thinness and appearance in general, but I do. What I need to do is change my mind set, but I don't know how. How can I make myself care less about my weight? Will I ever get better?
Zeroglow...YES, you can and will get better, but it will require you doing things that don't feel good, and challenging old ways of thinking. Wanting to get 'better', yet not gain weight, is referred to as the 'anorexic wish' in some circles. It's not possible. But, by facing the thing you fear the most, and examining what the underlying meaning is for you, can be a very important first step to truly WANTING something different for your life, whether it mean you gain some weight or not.
Please find professional help and focus on each day, what you want for your life, and how your actions will or will not allow you to realize those dreams!
Take care...Jan ♥