Consistent inconsistency

I have found something consistent going on in my relationship & I feel like it's time that I address it...for real! I'm just not sure how. This is my first post so please be gentle : )

I am a very needy person. Clearly too needy. Like whenever he's out with friends or gone to see his kids I get a little jealous. I carry so much guilt about this, especially when it comes to the babies. He is a very good man, & I know he loves me & would never do anything to hurt me. I'm just so frikkin needy! Like, I don't feel bad for just wanting to see him, but all of my previous relationships have ended by me saying that they don't have enough time for me. But I really feel that this man is worth fighting for. Loneliness & neediness is all a matter of perception. I know he's busy & has a very demanding lifestyle, but when he's out of the house, I feel that it's because he doesn't want to be here. Bottom line, I think I need to change my perception on needing him around me all the time. But how do I go about doing that?

Hi blzrgrl3, Welcome to . I understand how you feel. Why do you think you feel this way? Has something happened in your past to make you feel needy? I think you may also feel insecure. I know some my mine stems from how my father's family treated me after my father's death. His family and I were so close before he died then after his death they acted like I didn't exist. I was 8 years old at the time. It was many years later when a friend of mine pointed out to me that because of this I have abandonment issues and I do. I just never thought it like this until she mentioned it. When those negative thoughts enter my head concerning my husband, I have to remind myself that they are not true and reaffirm myself by reminding myself how much my husband loves me and the ways that he shows it. It is not him. It is me. This helps me some. Keep coming and sharing with us. We are here for you. ((((hugs))))

Thanks for the hugs!! When I think about it, I feel like I've always had some sort of separation anxiety. Like whenever someone leaves, I feel like they're never coming back & that it's my fault. I am a child of divorce & my parents split up when I was 4. I really don't ever remember living with my dad in the house so I've always thought that it didn't affect me. My Dad says that most people have memories from when they were young, & the fact that I remember nothing means that I subconsciously blocked out that part of my childhood. I will try remembering how much my boyfriend loves me whenever he's gone, but I'm determined to find a solution to the root cause of the issue. Counseling is so expensive, but I know that there's got to be a way.