Control is essential

today my daughter found me asleep in a pool of blood and i think i found a way to help myself. i am obsessed with control but if i continue the way i am i dont acually have any control . i am focusing on ending the things that make me this way . i went to a shrink today but he just made me mad but i am going again tomorrow and i think i can really get some help now.

This sounds so scary. I would hate to see that as a daughter and as a mother I would hate to have gotten to the point where I let my daughter see that. I hope that you remain strong and really do get help like you say you are going to. Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom for us to see the light again.

Be well,

This is very disturbing and concerning! Please do whatever you must to make sure that you are safe, and that your daughter is protected from this very frightening scenario!
Please get help!
Jan ♥

I agree…this is very concerning…

thanks iknow it was scarey for her and i hate lieing to her but i now that once i get help it wont happen again

getting angry in therapy is not uncommon. I used to actually yell at my therapist at times. They take you to uncomfortable places and anger is a way to respond. Keep going it will get better.

You may need to take your daughter to see a therapist. It can cause promblems for in the long wrong if you dont. I cant imagine how that must of felt when she walked in to see you, everthing happens for a reason. So maybe that is what it will take for you to continue to help yourself, cause even if you dont want to do it for you then maybe you will want to do it for your child. Best of luck! I am here if you need to talk.

she didnt know i meant to cut myself. she thinks the knife sliped while i was cutting some food.

brittney, i'm really glad you're resisting to drop therapy again. somtimes the first few sessions can be scary or even go bad because you might not want to let them in, and hence feel they don't understand you or judge you. give it time, a friendship doesn't develop in one hour, neiter will a therapist-patient-relationship.

i think you sound so much more motivated and actually ready to attack all this and gain control back! way to go!!

Well I am glad she didn't know what you was doing. Yall are in my thoughts!

That sounds very scary for you and you daughter, I hope you find the help you need.

Please do get some help, this is not healthy for her to go through. The therapist might make you made but it is part of them seeing what you don't. They are not bias so it will be up front and in your face but it will help in the long run.

Are you sure that your daughter believes you? Kids often pick up on more than we think they do. Also it can be tramatic to come across a scene like that even if it is an accident. A therapy session for her might be a good idea.

Wow, that story sounds quite familiar, and rather frightening. I applaud you for acknowledging treatment as being a viable option, and I hope you find a counselor you can be yourself with. If you don't mind me asking, how old IS your daughter, and is she an only child?

This feels like dejavue to me. Back in 2006 I had cut on my wrists as well as take too many pills. My daughter (I think 13 at the time) found me.I don't remember much but my daughter said I was walking around with a towel around my wrists saying don't tell Brett (bf @ the time). After I was released and I sat down with my daughter she told me she was terrified even after I told her I wasn't trying to hurt myself & it was an accident. She is now showing signs of PTSD and refuses to see someone because she doesn't want to admit she has a mental illness. She has never forgiven me but we are still trying to men our relationship. Basiclly what I'm saying is kids aren't stupid & even if they think it was an accident, witnessing a trauma is nothing to fool around with. Just have someone talk to her and ofcourse seek help for yourself.
Take care & my thoughts are with you & your family

I am so sorry that has happened to you and your family. I totally get the "losing control" feeling. What I have come to realize is the only control I have ever had is control over myself. Everything else is action and reaction. God will never put a mountain in front of you that you aren't capable of climbing.
Control over all those exterior forces was always an illusion. I certainly hope you stick with counseling, because if for nothing else it should help you realize that noone has to deal with these things alone.
When even those who love us and want to help can't due to lack of true understanding there are still people out there who can. Example: therapists.....and us!

Have a great day