Coping with a break up

Relationships Romantic Relationships
1

I just came out of a 6 year realtionship, in japan. Moved there just to make it work. He was a control freak and yet I bent my back to make the relationship work. I had low self esteem before getting into this relationship and now I am pretty much shattered.

I had to leave japan finally after i got a PhD there, no work prospects. And came to the US to be with family and try and find work here. Before leaving we never broke up and he kept giving me hints that we were still a couple. Lately no calls from him and distant emails. Finally confronted him and he said he found someone else.

Very upset. Feel so stupid and betrayed!

2

No family or friends with me.

Please someone help.

3

Hi SP, I am so sorry for what you are going through and I can imagine why you feel so betrayed. Are you in an area where you can find some type of part-time employment while you see a more permanent position. Please know that you are not alone, I am here to help in any way that I can.

4

Thank you puppydogiver.

5

dear sp, we can help here with friendly messages that may take your mind off the nasty breakup for a moment. all my best and keep talking.

6

Thank you stanisz.
But after this sort of relationship, you really start to doubt your own judgement.
That is now my biggest fear.
Joy is in helping and I thank you, puppydogiver and this site for that.

7

dear sp, meditation and prayer,(taking and listening to a higher power) can be a useful recovery tool in regaining one's begining confidence. i still don't have all my skills in telling about others, but am willing to take a few risks now and then. am glad to hear from you. keep talking.

8

Dear Stanisz,

Thank you. Have been praying every day. And also, made a rule that every time I think of him, I start praying in my head. And that helps alot.

Working on getting back on my feet, with my sense of judgement.

Take care and godspeed,

9

dear SP, you are on the right track to pray in your head. this is a very useful tool, i use it too! good work! i pray for all the people that come into my head space that way. i imagine you came up with your own answer here. to pray for your self confidence and good judgement the same way. also to accept the mistakes you have made thus far. that is very important.i care about your wellness SP and glad that you are still writing.

10

Dear Stanisz,

Thankyou. It really helps when you can talk about it.
In the midst of exams so its tough.

But I realised one thing,
God helps those who help themslves. I was praying that despite the distance. things
would work out.

I used get the urge to call, reasoning did not help much, but prayer did.

Hope the sorrow and pain go away soon.

Godbless!

11

dear one, thank God that you have not given in to the urge to call and He will take that urge away after time.i was in a sick relationship and would call forever and a day i was afraid to let go i guess. anyway you are letting go and thats the thing of it and good for you. before you know it He will fill your life up with so much you won’t know how you lived before. but this takes time. blessings upon up.

12

Dear Stanisz,

Thank you so much for your encouraging words.

I cannot wish that people donot go through a sad breakup, but I can wish that anyone who does, gets over it and gets stronger yet kinder to help others.

God bless you!

Take care.

13

dear SP, how did things go over the weekend? you are a kind person yourself my dear one and very thoughtful about what you are doing.keep up the good work.