My last post was 2 weeks ago, I was high when I wrote the post. I have not gotten high since that day. Yay me....
All I want to do is get high, I feel a relapse coming. Like I constantly set myself up for failure.....
Don't know what the future holds for me at all....I can't even begin to imagine what I will do an hour from now. I have my empty pipe in my hand....and I'm contemplating making the call to fill it up......
Put simply...I need help.
-K.
na meeting, na meeting, na meetings......and when your done na meetings, not available right now, aa meeting will fit the bill till you can get to the next na meeting.....one on one counseling will do you good. keep posting all night long if ya have to, or journal in our journal section.....call to fill up the pipe BAD IDEA, so what will it be? you got choices hun
Hey K,
I was in your shoes when I first quit too. It's hard to fill the time... Cuz you use to fill it under the influence of meth. It slowly gets easier, easier to accept life again. You become more familiar with what reality feels like. You may slip up but you can get back up. I relapsed a couple times the first month and a half I quit meth.
Regardless, being clean for 2 weeks is a huge step in the right direction. I know that 2 weeks can feel like yrs... It'll get easier though. You'll stop using less and less. You'll learn how to feel again. Life will SLOWLY get easier.
Hang in there, girl :)
Thank you ladies for your support. It is much appreciated. Glad to say that I did NOT get high the day of the post, and am continuing my sobriety. As difficult as it may be, I am trying.
-Kash
of course kash, glad to hear you made thru yet another trial...nosey, here wants to know, what else are ya doing honey to help with your truggles?
many have many means to pass on support for things that you can do daily or otherwise that could make doing the one day at a time thing work in your favor....i can't "we" can.....hope you are well
One thing that is really helping me stay on track and help me through my struggles is a friend of mine. I have known him for a couple of years, and he has been sober from everything, including meth, for sometime now. So he knows how it is trying to stay sober, he likes to say it doesn't matter how long he's been sober because "all i really have is today." I call him almost immediately when I am feeling urges and/or craving, and he can act almost like a sober coach or sponser in a way, and it helps. It's nice to have that one person that i'm comfortable enough with to confide in, that can actually help and when he says "i know how you feel", he actually does.
-Kash
kash....time to expand perhaps, what about na meetings, remember they also have online forums as well. we all do have only today and that is plenty don't ya think some days as we do have our hands full with ourselves. good to have a person to call and count of but what if that one person is not available? something to think about....we can't count on one person to much.....to much responsibility for one person to take on....time to expand your horizons my dear....there are many out there that know how you feel.
Have you every been to an NA meeting? They are depressing, and only make me want to get high. Meetings do not work for me, they may work for some, but they don't benefit my individual sobriety. As for online forums, I use this one. I don't keep many people close to me, and he is one of the few that I do. Not only that, he isn't shy to say to anyone if he doesn't want to deal with certain things. He would let me know if my issues became a burden to him, as of yet they have not. I don't agree that it's to much responsibility for him to take on, if it was I would be able to tell by the way he acts and/or speaks.
been to aa, na, alanon, therepy, and so on. i my case aa saving my life and gave me a new lease on life with people who had the desire to stop/using/drinking......our club had meetings multiples daily as well as alanon and lots of activities witth other people having the desire to stay sober, i loved it. just know that it is there if you ever decide to look into it further, what about church groups? the possibilities are endless when we want something bad enough. could i a least off you the 12 steps of the program that can be used for any and all aspects of life. my best to you hun.
I am aware of the 12 step program, and know what the steps are. As for church groups, I am an atheist and do not partake in church services/groups/events etc. Thank you though.
-Kash
of course honey, we are here to serve, just try to pass on what has worked for me. do keep us posted on how your doing hun. ya never know what you might run into out there.....good stuff i mean....
Just quitting all at once is possible for some I am sure but for me it is not. At one time I felt like I was in the devils arms and he wasnt letting me go. I have used 3 times since April but I was using everyday and when I smoked some that was BAD it really scared me. Besides getting chemical pnemonia I felt like 1 side of my face was numb and it took 5 days for that high to wear off , oh how i prayed but I went right back 2 it less than a month later. I still use every now and then although i know i shouldnt at all but everyone is different and i feel like what im doing is working for me. I pray I never allow myself to be so weak minded again because for a while I did not have control of my life . I gave meth control of it. One day I hope to be completely clean of meth but as for now I am getting through this the best way I can.
IRRESISTABLE