I am new at this and I am having a really hard time adjusting to a few things in my life right now. My parents recently told me that they were for sure getting a divorce and my mom told my dad he could start dating people if that's what would make him happy. I don't really want to go into detail about their relationship but, nobody cheated. They just fought all the time when I lived at home and now I guess it's worse, which I don't know how it could be because it was bad when I lived at home. Anyways...my dad started dating a girl I graduated high school with. It was a HUGE shocker!! I wasn't expecting him to tell me he had started dating a girl I played sports with and even worked together. I would just like to hear some of your thoughts and maybe some of you have been through this! I would like to know I am not the only one that has to deal with something like this. Last night I found it very hard and thought I was going to have a panic attack because I had just gotten home from somewhere that they were at together. I have a 2 cousins who graduated with her also. I was only told about this 2 days ago. I really have nobody else to talk about it with because everyone that I do talk about it with, has never been through it. They don't know what it's like to deal with something like this! They can try to think about how they would act, but in all reality you have to be in the position to know how you would really act!
I am sorry to here that you first had to go through your parents divorce and then this happens on top. I can understand how hard this must be and maybe even embarrassing for you. I assume you have not approached your dad about this yet?
No, not really! I actually told him it was ok because it's what makes him happy. I'm scared because I don't want to choose sides with him and my mom!
I've never been in this situation before but ive delt with my father dateing women that were in no way good for him. I never had a problem with them personally but they never treated dad how he deserved. At one point my father did ask me if i would have a problem with it if he dated a girl my age and i told him i wouldnt which is the honest to god truth. I know ur in a strange situation and its hard to deal with but the fact is its his life and he gets to choose who he spends it with you can talk to him about it and i'd encorage you to but if he decides this is someone he wants to stay with then you have to learn to live with it. It doesnt mean youre not justified in you're feelings honestly id think it was weird too if my father dated someone i went to school with but in the end you cant control your fathers actions all you can do is love him inspite of them. I really hope things work out for your whole family im sure none of this is easy on any of you
Lindsay, I know its been a while since your post & you probably havent been back cause your busy w/college.
I want to stress to you that you dont have to be in the middle of your mom & dads issues as your not responsible for their happiness THEY are. So if one asks about the other (to you) just smile & say she/hes fine & leave it at that. In reference to the ackwardness of being around your dads girlfriend due to the fact shes your age, discuss this w/your dad & he should consider not having her visit when your visiting unless she lives w/him then maybe he should see you somewhere else like meet for dinner somewhere or park.
Create boundaries for yourself as your older now & your dad will have to respect your life, continue the boundaries as long as necessary until he gets it & respects you & listens.
All my strengths.
April (mom 2 boys 19 & 27)
Hi Lindsay,
I lived a similar situation, but my parents are divorced since I'm a child.
When I was 25 my dad dated a 26 yo girl for 2 years, on & off. A friend and colleague from work. That was heartbreaking, from loosing the relationship with this girl (that actually lied to me about that relationship) and by the anger I had towards my dad.
Yet that relationship has finally ended, but another one just started... This time he is dating another colleague from work (I have to say my dad and I work in the same company) and this girl is now my age...
I just can't understand why a girl (even if the man is rich) can date a guy who is more than twice her age... Linsday, is you dad a wealthy man or just really good looking like Pierce Brosnan? lol
I don't want to accept it. It's too hard. I however do not really have a choice to live in this situation.
The worst is that I have to live with this 7/24, as they are also in my working environment.
Well the only thing I can say is that it's their thing. It will never take away the feeling you will have when your father presents her in front of you as his girlfriend/wife to people (this is so shameful) or when people you don't know come up to you and ask you if you are your dad's girlfriend/wife...
This is the worst. ;)
xxx
A girl that understand what you are going through... and that is also happy not to be the only one in this situation...
Hi my name is Haley Friedman and I'm working on an emmy-award winning TV documentary series interested in exploring the relationships between step parents and step kids. We are looking for step parents who are close in age to their step children. Or, step kids who are having a hard time dealing with their step parent that is close in age to them. If this sounds like you, we would love to hear your story! Please email us at [email protected] with your name, age, a little about yourself, city/state, contact info and recent picture of yourself with your step child.