This is mostly referring to a post started by Puppydoglvr. However, I think it does deserve a spot of it's own, to try and solve the horrible torture of our own makings:)
Heard the story of the girl who wasn't quite bothered about the guy initally but then they ended up married?
Or how you meet someone right when you're not looking?
The equation seems simple...DON'T LOST YOUR HEAD especially at the start. Mentally allow yourself to think, and start it off like an easy going friendship.
In fact spend even more time with your friends and on extra activities just for you. And DO NOT LOST SIGHT OF YOURSELF.
GIVE THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT. We've probably suffered through the same girl/boy treating us like crap, and us vowing to never let it happen again. There is a difference though between someonen treating us badly and not allowing someone a shot.
And STOP QUESTIONING AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. Remember you are a great person who deserves to be cared for and treated well. No matter how many goofy jokes you make, or if you spend the whole night with food between your teeth...or had a boogie in your nose the whole night...or all of the above.
If he/she is into you....they will be contacting you.
Hi. I have been reading through all of the posts and in the singles section and I just wanted to say thank you. I seem to go from one bad thing to the next but then I started thinking that I might be the one sabotaging everything.
Hey Jonny7,
I'm glad you are finding these posts good. I also allow my brain to sabotage myself, when really I should be enjoying the moments, because that is what the beginings are all about. Learning and fun and excitement, not worry. So if you can stick to no other rule...try this one.
Think of your next date as just meeting up with a friend, obviously be well mannered and all that. But don't pressurise yourself with thoughts of potential partner material...just go to have fun and get to know the person.
And keep coming back for support.
Isn't it amazing how weird and crazy we all are when we admit to it...ha ha
Moongal, you are beyond BRILLIANT! Thank you so much for your absolutely fantastic post. It really truly spoke directly to me and what I was going through. Funny enough, I came to the conclusion yesterday that I need to look at early stages of dating as meeting and getting to know a nice new friend. And, here you are with this fabulous post. Love it! I think that it truly is the best way to approach dating, this way you really see the person for who they are, you don't put any pressure on communication (when will I hear from him, why haven't I heard from him, etc), and the over-thinking and over-analyzing is hopefully wiped out....hopefully (fingers crossed).
I am going to take it one baby step at a time and try my hardest not to over-think things, because that's when I get myself in trouble. I tend to sabotage a good thing before it even has an opportunity to develop, because my walls and defense go up.
Thank you again so much for this post....it helped me a ton today! You are truly the best!
Hey Puppy,
I'm glad you found it good. I think we are all guilty of reading into everything as the saying goes "once bitten twice shy". And when we are single we go through such stages of maintaining and improving ourselves, and I've come to one certainly realisation, that we should never stop doing that, even if we have started dating again, there is nothing wrong with self improvement.
And being patient with another human can be trying, especially when we've hopes pinned on them, that's why it's so important to take it slow and at your own manageable pace and more friendship based is a great option.
And do believe in yourself. If you feel you've put a text or a call out there, don't doubt your choice, be happy with it, know you did the right thing for you and continue with your day.
It's all about letting go of nervous control and embracing a brand new person. Believe me this is going to take me some work, but they are worth it.
Thank you again so much Moongal! You have no idea how much your advice has helped me. I was on this path, because I am honestly not a dater; I never have been. It's usually been a relationship or nothing at all, and the nothing at all has gone on for quite some time because I've chosen growing a business over dating. When it comes to business, I am super confident, but when it comes to dating, I've really tried to avoid it in all honesty. I am working on myself and trying to change, because my business won't fulfill my personal dreams of having a family, and it certainly won't cuddle up to me at night ;-)