hi i have had the same had first pannic attack at 15 still have them if i go out if i stay in im ok ppl think we are not normal tablets hide the problem, no one gives a shit doctors aint got a clue we the ones who understand it as we have it the doctors just suddy it they havent had it and dish out meds im nervous depressed have anixity lonelyness dont have family or friends dont see a sole if i walk down the road i dont get far legs go stiff and feel i want to hold on to something its sad we have to live like this i wont go out on my own
I just joined because i am in the same situation. I just turned 30, my friends don't understand agoraphobia at all, my therapists who are far away wonder why I can't make it to appointments. My family thinks it's because I don't pray in church enough and/or I let it control me and I have to just say "screw it" and let it go and just start going places. I was diagnosed with ptsd when I was 17. I have had a panic disorder since. I was able to hold a job for a few years since then and even went to college for a semester. I had a girlfriend for the past 9 years, but she passed away in november, then one of my closest friends killed herself in january... the panic and agoraphobia are in full effect right now, and my head/neck/shoulders are constantly tense. I keep getting dizzy when I walk and my vision has been blurry. Everyday it is getting a tiny bit better (for the first time in the past month I have been able to take a shower without starting to panic lol). I start my new therapist (one that is much closer to my new apartment (we also moved in January.) I live with my mother, and the funny part is, both my mother and sister have panic disorder too, but they don't know how to be calm with me. My sister is all about being bossy and pushing me to go farther than i'm comfortable always reminding me (I had wrse panic attacks than you). I don't know why she says that, but they are the only 2 I can rely on right now. Also, I take xanax but, since my exgf passed away, I have been terrified to take any pills, even tylenol. So I have to chew tiny bits of my xanax every 4 hours... My ex loved me no matter what, and now I look around (maybe it's just the anxiety) but I feel like everyone (atleast my facebook friends) are all judgmental and mean. I'm 30, I play video games, I read comics, i read a lot of books, write stories, I was in bands, it seems like everything I like people make fun of. I may be rambling, but I am just really hurt right now and needed to vent
I feel like I'm constantly looked down upon or/and misunderstood because of my social anxiety, panic attacks and agoraphobia.
I am somewhat co dependent, but fighting for my freedom from this entrapment.
I've lost friends, isolated myself.. on the verge of breaking up with my bf.. A whole lot of stress.
I've been steadily making progress, but I feel like nobody really understands what I'm going through or how tough it is.
People in my life keep pushing me beyond my current limits/comfort zones and I'm always being under the microscope for missing out on family functions and social events.
I've been made fun of most of my life and emotionally abused to the point where I'm extremely self conscious and am afraid to go out, especially alone. So frustrating..I've developed BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder) OCD, PTSD and a whole bunch of disorders that go hand in hand with this.
Wish I could find more friends who I can relate to who have a decent understanding of all this. But in person.. it's difficult..
Christian, i have never read anything i relate to so much as i did your posts, aside from your anxiety patters of night time going out. i have been outside for 45mins this month, my post was going to be the same as your as im new here to, but i will just keep any eye on yours. i know this is a horrible thing to say but hearing someone else say exactly what im feeling is so reliveing, im sorry but it is. im so scared for the futuer, i cant just sit alone anymore. any help would be fantastic people, even a shread of a chance. thanks
Hello, i feel alone and it's so difficult to find others that might remotely understand. I also feel so alone. I am in Northern California, if it matters to anyone here. My family and friends get so fustrated with my limits and can't comprehend where my feelings are like.
I hoping to find someone I can chat with at least online via email.
Hmm what about an older lady who lived a "different" lifestyle? Like a nice Muslim lady who stayed at home all day with kids and cooked?:P
As with previous posters, I can offer not a solution, but commiseration only. I'm sorry. In February, I was discharged from months in a residential center. While I can now leave the house, and with less stipulations than before, I feel not one bit less trapped. In fact, perhaps more-so. From age 4 until age 17, I suffered from various degrees of crippling agoraphobia - at nearly 18, it's the least taxing it's ever been...but still, I can hardly fathom going out if not for a very specific purpose...even my CBT provider, I won't see, and my psych only because I need to in order to receive my scripts. I'd become quite skilled at numbing myself out to the point that I didn't "mind" the isolation...and then after being forced into fulltime care, 6 months of being located in a hospital (albeit 10 minutes from home,my safety zone had shrunk to a 2 minute radius...as in, I could manage a 7 minute grocery trip plus a total of 4 minutes driving time once a week with the help of 3mg alprazolam) and constantly being surrounded by people and pushed past relative comfort...I just want something that I don't have the desire...or ability...to achieve. And it blows. And what's swell is that I now have the ability to leave the house, by myself, and walk far enough to a lethal jumping point...and I'm so lonely and miserable and confused and pissed off, that one of these days I might just stop worrying about how it would leave my little brother and find the gumption to lick the wind. "Recovery" has left me torn between wanting my numbed out existence back and wanting to experience life, but I can't seem to attain either. My social anxiety and depression are still as bad as ever...other things, like my OCD are better, and it doesn't even matter.
It all just sucks and I can't find a way to make it bearable. Sorry, brother. There's just not an easy solution to this bullshit.
Wow pdooma that was visual. It permitted me 1) to realize I do not think I have agoraphobia b) to wonder more about this...
HEy,
Not that i wanna influence you to go on a dating site but i know it helped me wheni was depressed and didnt wanna go out. I was on Plentyof fish... its free soo theres alot of sicko's but also a bunch of nice people all looking for different things in life in different areas around the world. I know a few couples that met on there and I also met my bf of 8 months now on there... it helped me out on the lonely days and nights for me!
Dan
its a shame that so many people are suffering from the one thing that should be so easily done.. agrophobia is not nice atall.. and i think there should be more support for ppl with this type of anxiety.. its something that prevents people living .. leaving their homes and actually enjoying life.. watching time tick away .. looking at the world go by outside your window while you dream and wish you could be doing what really interests you..is very frustrating .. i feel for anyone in this boat ..
people say...you dont need help.. just go there..or just do it.. they dont understand that it takes alot more than this.. they say only you can do it.. while it is correct that only the agrophobic can do it... they DO need support.. its hard if people around you do not understand fully... even those who try to.. but this is why people need to help eachother..