Day 1

I know it's only day 1, but I have been addicted to smoking Marijuana for 3 years without going a day without it.

I have decided to keep busy today and go to work. I can't stop thinking about being home which I don't know why I have completely disposed of everything I used to smoke with so there are no temptations.

I feel a little sad about this as it has been a huge part of my life for so long I don't know what to make of it. I am doing this for my own well being and I'm just scared that it will all get too much for me and I will finish work and want to smoke. Just have to keep reminding myself. I have to attend my Psych appt tonight so hopefully that will help.

Does anyone ever feel like when they give up something they wonder how they can be without it??
I'm struggling to picture my life without Weed. :(

I know I will get there, I have some faith I just wish I could be more positive about quitting.

Hi Jai1987,congratulations on your huge step in the right direction, you should be so proud of yourself. Take it one small step at a time, and one day at a time. Try not to overwhelm yourself right now by thinking about life on the whole without something. Also, this would be a great time to take that time that you used to smoke and start doing something positive for yourself with that time. Think of all that you can do with that time.

How was your psych appointment? Did it help you in this process?

I've been trying to give up sleeping pills, I've gotten to the point where I haven't been able to sleep without them. Last night was my first night and I tossed and turned all night, had crazy nightmares that woke me out of sleep. All I want to do is take a sleeping pill now to help myself and not to have a repeat of my awful night of sleep last night. It's not easy, but I am going to do it. So, you and I are both on Day 1. Let's keep it going.

Good luck on your endeavers. I know you can do it.

Hi Jai, For me with alcohol there came a time when I couldn't live with it or without it. When I finally made a change was when the pain of holding on was greater than the fear of letting go. Try taking it one day at time. Just for today don't smoke. Let tomorrow take care of itself. You may also consider checking out Marijuana Anonymous http://www.marijuana-anonymous.org/ for extra added support. Keep coming and letting us know how you are doing. We are here for you. ((((hugs))))

Jai
I used to smoke weed it impacted my life hugely. I know that if I could do it you can to. You have already made the first step of quitting. You acknowledged that you had a problem. I certainly believe you can do it.

Hi Jai, how are you doing today? Day #2 for you, I am so excited for this new wonderful path that you are on.

Day 2....
I'm not doing as well as I had thought. These withdrawels are awful. I'm again at work today and all I can think about is having a smoke. I'm so fed up with myself. I went to my Psychiatrist appointment this morning. I was so nervous before hand and even a little through the consultation. I finally got some answers and they are going to keep my meds as they are. The psych has written me a prescription for Vallium to help with the withdrawels.

I just don't know what I really want at the moment so I feel like I'm on a standstill, maybe once the agitation passes I will feel a whole lot better inside.

I'm tired and frustrated, :( But I made it to day two which is the longest I have ever been before in my life so I guess thats an accomplishment in itself.

Thankyou to all of you for your supportive and up-lifting comments I am so glad I have you all here to talk to. x

Hope everyone else is going along okay, thinking of you all.

Talk soon

xx

Jai, that's really so huge, you made it to day 2, I am so proud of you. What you're experiencing is so normal; your body has become accustomed to a substance daily and now all of a sudden that's gone completely. Of course your body is reacting accordingly. As well, I am glad that your psychiatrist gave you something to help take the edge off. Is there something that you can do during that usual time to occupy yourself with something positive and healthy. Is there a project at home that you've been meaning to get to and/or a hobby that you would like to start?

Update on my some what success. Hi All, I'm having a really bad day today. Not in the mood to work, see friends or even talk to anyone. I'm going through some awful feelings at the moment. I just want a smoke, I can't stop taking Vallium to help ease this and I am getting close to my daily usage I don';t know what to do. I just want to ring my Psych and tell her how I'm feeling.

I'm scared that I will go over my daily usage and I don't want to bother her with this. What do I do, I hate getting myself in these situations :( and I always do. I hate it...... :(
Things where so much easier before I gave up, I had one smoke over the weekend because I was alone but the suspense is really getting to me.

I wish I could help myself a little more than I do.

Quitting cold turkey is always a hard thing to do. In my opinion I believe u can do it. Just keep telling your self u can. It will be a struggle, but you have us.

jai, your psych is there in order to help you especially in situations such as this!! please do talk to her and get her advice on how to bear the withdrawal without swapping one drug for another!

you can do this hun, but keeping secrets from your therapist will only make your addiction stronger!!

love
maedi

Hi Jai, how are you doing today? Did you call your psychiatrist? Please know that he/she is there to help you through this process. We are here for you; please know that you're not alone.

Hey, I'm still not feeling to better in any way today. I tried my Psych yesterday twice she has been really hard to get hold of. I don't know what else to do. There's things I need to talk about and she is not around. I don't see her for another fortnight.

I feel like the biggest burden. But I havea good relationship with my therapist. I know she is busy but I need her support to. :(

Don't know how to help myself.. :(

Sorry for not being very positive
x

Hi Jai, please don't apologize, you are here with us and we are here to help you in any way that we can. I want to make sure that you're doing okay and if there's anything at all that you want to share with us here, maybe we can help you while you wait to hear from your psychiatrist.

Hey,
Thanku for responding so quickly, I'm just having severe mixed feelings. I can't stop taking the Vallium and when things get bad I keep excedding my daily limit. I know what I'm doing is wrong but the suspense is killing me.
While not smoking I'm drinking more and I'm so affraid of what I'm doing but I can't stop. :(

I'm hating who I am, I feel like there is so much that I dont enjoy about my life right now and I just can't find any relief. I feel like a burden calling and texting her to call me, I feel less important. I feel supported by you all so much but I'm not able to control my actions.

I stay online all day at work just so I can try and talk to others and respond to posts on here it helps me a little. I just wish she could bve here to talk to me.
Thanks for being here though, u all give so much time and effort into everyone I'm so pleased I have you all

jai, please be careful with replacing weed with other drugs. it is not the way and i am sure you know that too otherwise you wouldn't be that scared.
have you still not heard from your therapist? could you maybe even drive by there?
or would seein a friend help?

I know, but it seems the easiest way, no I have not heard from her. I feel rude calling again.
Thanks for listening though
I hate this :(

Jai, I know that this is a tough time on the whole, you are making a massive change in your life and it's a very positive and amazing change. Try not to focus too much on what you're going through now, but the long-term benefit of getting to the other end of this better and stronger than ever before. Please know that you will get there; it's just going to take patience. Take it one small step at a time. Is the valium necessary? Can you occupy your time, when you would usually smoke, with another positive and fulfilling activity? As well, upping your valium intake and drinking with it is dangerous, please be careful. Know that this is going to take you a bit of time, it's not worth adding other drugs to replace another one. I just feel that this could be a slippery slope for you.

Are there friends and/or family who you can spent time with this evening?

Finally got onto my Psych. Things never come out the way you want them to though. I feel like I don't give a care in the world anymore. I can't stay still for more than one minute. I'm completely over myself. And yet who is it that keeps us going ourselves... :( I can't be bothered I'm over not having my head in one place. This is begining to feel like its not going away to soon.

I do have family and friends to be with, but I just don't want to be around anyone. I feel awful and know one deserves to be around me in this way at all :( :( :( :( :(

jai, these are common withdrawal symptoms and thoughts and as dreadful as they may feel right now, they will ease and then pass.
and if your family loves you and your friends are real friends then they will want to be around you no matter what if only that will help you overcome this ordeal once and for all!!
please ask for and accept help, you deserve it. and if you feel bad about it then remember that once you are better you can give it back tenfold!!

love
maedi