Do not ask the Lord to guide your footsteps.
if you are not willing to move your feet.
Day 21
Strength/Endurance
Where does strength come from?
Coming off crack cocaine, I became aware of how weak I had become. When I considered though the lengths at which I went to to continue using, I did not feel at all weak. I thought well if I can be that strong in my using and that resourceful to do all that it took to procure, to use, to recover, to damage control, to continue in that maddening pace, I must be a strong person.
Transferring that energy that I had previously spent on using, now I ‘m re-directing that energy to simply NOT USING.
Finding the self will power, strengthened by my faith that I could do this.
My faith in God, that He would help me.
I remember one of my sayings back then was “ I have done far worse things for way less good reasons”
I found the strength to do what I had to do to rid this evil substance from my life.
by KEEPING MY EYE ON THE BALL, staying focused in TRUTH as far as WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I CONTINUED IN THAT NON LIFE? -
and what would happen if I STOP and become myself again?
Staying grounded in truth every day, remember what the cost of using is.
Remember your desire to get out of this hell and never return.
Feed yourself the TRUTH about crack, what it did, what it does and what it would do if you let it, realize it cannot hurt you unless you let it. so the job at hand is WE ARE NOT LETTING IT, hard as it may try to get us to we are NOT GOING TO ANYWAY. WE KNOW THAT WE may feel like crap and we are OK w/ that , we know IT WILL PASS.
Remember how awful you will feel if we use crack, i.e, remember the TRUTH.
Think of how great you will feel if you do not and get over each urge..
By remembering the truth you will find your strength to do whatever you must do each day , each hour or moment, when the tests come, you CAN get through it. There are thousands of things you can do instead, find one, and get through this period.
Who knows if you take up the replacement therapy and find a way out of the temptation who knows what cool things you can find now to do instead.
Just remember what is at stake and return to your daily grind stone of GETTING CLEAN. KNOWING THAT THE UNCOMFORTABLE parts of this journey will p***
You do not have to be strong 24/7, there are times that it will be easy ,ENJOY THEM but stay prepared for the hard days that will come.
For we have been given God given strength to do what we must do. This is the truth.
If we really really want this, we will work hard to get it , NEVER DOUBT THE TIME YOU SPEND DOING THIS, IT IS VERY MUCH WORTH THE EFFORT AND SOME!
For you DO possess the strength to do this,
It may have been strangled and distorted by using crack but it IS there.
If we feel weak today, consider this, consider that this is just the beginning.
We have been being controlled by our addiction and that has sucked up out of us our natural God given abilities, including our strength.
Hell that in itself is a reason to KEEP GOING FORWARD, fight back!
Do not let it take anything else from you other than your own time and effort to STOP USING IT FOREVER!
that is all it gets from us now and further, that is all it TRUTH it deserves from us..
We may spend time grieving along the way (I shall make that Day 22 message)
for Today we focus on STRENGTH, employing it, developing it, directing it, finding it. by using our strength even in our greatest weakness, we have the most to gain..
On this journey strength comes in bites, it is like unused muscles in our self discipline to do what is right, In that we have grown weak.
We did not start out being weak, we grew that way. Smoking crack cocaine, has taken from us our strength.
Now that we have put it down, we are using our energy to thwart it instead and to put our lives back in order, slowly but surely.
This is a process, it does not happen overnight.
That is OK we don't need it to, we need only focus on the day at hand.
But be ***ured that you will have the amount of strength you need to do what you need to do right now.
Don’t’ worry about tomorrow.
Tomorrow shall worry for itself.
You will get stronger as you continue on this journey.
Crack is real good about feeding our weaknesses and destroying our strengths. It has done a **** good job of that ,like nothing I have ever seen or experienced in my life, but as weak, as apathetic, as hopeless and weak *** person that I had become, I still was able to contend w/ it, and I still was able to work w/ whatever little bit of strength I did have, that came from the intense desire to be rid of that crap forever.
By using the smallest strength I did have each day , I got stronger as I went.
Now that we are detoxifying ourselves, mind, body and spirit, we may start out weak, that is a good thing, for we are now returned to our selves the ones that became crippled by this drug.
TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS TIME, we have the CHANCE here to save ourselves and to rebuild ourselves during this time.
Now the process is reversed by doing the opposite of what we did before.
We smoked crack , we lost our strengths and developed weaknesses.
Now, we do not smoke crack, we are building our strengths and destroying our weaknesses.
It is the polar opposite that is now occurring.
With each day we will get stronger and stronger and our ememy’s grip on us will loosen with time. We must allow it.
If for nothing else, then we are NOT USING. That In itself is a lot of effort and a lot of work. It is not a waste of time, it is the best thing we can possibly doing right now.
This is a difficult p***age, a difficult journey.
Truth is we did not count on it but because we smoked crack this is where it led us. Now that we see the truth of this evil drug, we have decided to rid it from our lives entire.
It is a job, it is work, it requires a steadfast desire and effort.
It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life.
By doing it it was one of the most rewarding experiences I ever had.
Crack lies, it will try to get you to use again, it will try to tell you it’s “too hard” it will try to tell you you “can’t” ALL OF THESE ARE LIES.
GO TO THE TRUTH and continue on your journey.
You will get stronger as you go.
lies and excuses go hand in hand and will come at you now that you are going this direction, you CAN expose and debunk them each and every time as you go. All in a day's work fighting crack.
Here is the crack fighting scripture for today:
In regards to finding and using some strength:
1 Corinthians 10:13
There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
Todays Tip: DO NOT FORGET THE POWER OF PRAYER
combined with our effort we will reach our goal to rid crack cocaine from our lives forever.
Tip: Find tools that you can use in your ongoing arsenal of weapons against this opponent.
Tip: Fight your crack addiction EVERY DAY, be OFFENSIVE and not just defensive, this will go a long way you are ACTIVE DUTY NOW, you must be pro active w/ regard to this , for we have learned enough about this enemy now to see how it works. Knowing our enemy will help us to defeat it.
Think about all the crap it did to you , and get angry about that, and get to where you demand to take your life back!
Be proactive and keep this in front of you each day . I found by being offensive and not just defensive made it that much easier to defend myself when the attacks / urges did come at me.
I was prepared.
by working my "program" every day regardless and keeping myself grounded in the TRUTH ABOUT CRACK..