Day 23 - Confidence

Day 23 – Confidence

Today’s message of hope is about our confidence.
The low self esteem is something that for me kept me using drugs to deal with.
The remedy of this one is to find some healthy self esteem.
If we are now getting off drugs, we can take our past and use it to beat ourselves up with, and it is natural that this happens to us, but each time these thoughts come we can instead decide to LEARN from them in order to make ourselves better.
By doing this , well it is the only thing we can do , we are being responsible for our situation and for now that is what we can feel good about.
Realize that we are humans and we are going to make mistakes. Beating ourselves up for it is not going to help. That is an ingrained habit that needs to change. So for now, we can simply stop doing it.
When we catch ourselves doing this, stop and redirect to what we can do, learn and keep going forward on our new path. Forgive ourselves and keep moving forward.

Each day we do what is right and continue in our recovery is a day of victory for us that we can feel good about.
We have damaged our relations w/ family, friends , if we still have any at this point.
Now , that we are on our new path of recovery we are setting about to heal ourselves.
By making friends w/ ourselves first and foremost and repairing our relationship to our selves.
Once we do this we automatically become better partners, better friends, better offspring, better every role we are fortunate to play in our lives and every person we have relations with.
I realized that the quality of my relationships w/ others was based on the state and quality of the relationship w/ myself.
So for now continue to work on a healthy relationship with yourself and the relations around you will be that much better.
This is a time to forgive ourselves and to repair damages and to find a healthy self confidence despite what has occurred in our past.

Understand that it is still very early.
It is monumental progress just to not be using and doing what you have to do each day to keep that going.

Sometimes , and oftentimes others will treat us the way we WERE not the way we ARE. We more than likely will have to wait for them to catch up.
If however, they cannot see us for who we are today and what we are capable of being, then we need not stress over that. For that is in them, not in us. We need to try to stay away from others whom are negative, and if we are not able to for logistical reasons we need to then be prepared with our own tough skin that we have decided to armour ourselves with to IGNORE IT.

We must refuse to allow other peoples opinions of us affect the way we feel about ourselves.

We do things that will promote a healthy self esteem. Not ***** or prideful but just healthy.
We learn to accept ourselves , to help ourselves, to do our best and to be satisfied with ourselves just the way we are.

In this new path, we must remember not to rely on other people’s ideas about who we are. It is common for others to treat us for the person that we were and not who we currently are. Heck, sometimes I am not sure that any one that I was spending time with knew me even then ,let alone now.
So do not allow other people’s opinions to affect you adversely and you will be okay.
Go to GOD for your “opinon” and to SELF, forgive yourself the past, learn from it and do your best each day.

Words are useless in the way of repairing relations with others. We must show by actions.
So just focus on your own actions and learn to pat yourself on the back for your progress and all the work you are doing to become free from crack cocaine. Get support from those that understand what you are going though. and do not expect it or rely on it from those who do not understand.
Realize further in all truth you do not need it.
You may want it but you dont' need it.
In fact it is detrimental for us to rely on other peoples behaviors for our own good feelings.

From now on we generate our own good feelings and if others are doing otherwise, we can accept that and not allow it to adversely affect us.

Others will either come around or else you don’t want them around. That is the long and short of it.

Quote for today’s message:
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
— Eleanor Roosevelt

peg, my darling, beautiful stuff once again,

a good one for me when the thoughts go to a place of negative, remembering we cannot change the past and its over, so i try when this happens to say out load sometimes, "its done, its over" can't change any of it and going over and over something that cannot be changed is a waste of our energy

the time will come when going over these things will be of benefit when doing step work. ....actions speak louder than words oh peg,

ah a little ditty about co dependency thrown in there for good measure....

great quote honey> let me repeat it....helps to say it and write it

"no one can make you feel infferior without your consent!!!

thanks peg....divinely inspired once again....thanks

Pegasus, yet again another brilliant and profound post, thank you so much for continually sharing such words of encouragement that we can all use regardless of what we are going through. I most certainly can work harder to love myself and boost my self esteem. Recently a man told me "you don't know how beautiful you are, do you?". And I thought to myself, I really don't. He told me that "you are beautiful from the inside and out". Somehow I couldn't accept this compliment and it made me very uncomfortable. This made me realize that I have some work to do. I most especially loved your following words;

"By making friends w/ ourselves first and foremost and repairing our relationship to our selves.

Once we do this we automatically become better partners, better friends, better offspring, better every role we are fortunate to play in our lives and every person we have relations with."

Making friends with yourself first and foremost is the key and then all else will fall into place. You made me stop and think, and now and I going to work on myself. Thank you so much for making a difference in my life. You are a blessing.

wow you guys, thank you for the kind words.
it is a human thing I guess that we tend to beat ourselves up so..

i am trying to work on this myself, i 've learned so much which reminds me

" i have so far to go, but look how far i have already come"

That's a beautiful quote and one that I will remind myself of daily. I am definitely one who beats myself up quite a bit. I put a lot of pressure on myself in all facets of my life. One of my best girlfriends told me recently that I need to be easier on myself and she's so right.