Day 8 lol

Hello all :)

Sorry I haven't been here for a few days! The site has been acting up and I've been busy too.

But guess what?!
I AM NOW A GOLD BELT! Woo!
The grading definitely wasn't as hard as I thought it would be (probably because it was mostly little kids haha) but I still enjoyed it. There was only a couple areas I struggled with. But it felt so good to walk into Monday's class with my gold sash around my waist :) The class itself was a bit difficult since I didn't know some moves, but I know I'll get there and John said he would help :)

As for the rest, well, I'm still laxative free! Purging thoughts have been a bit stronger, but I know that's just the bulimia trying to grasp to some part of me so it's not forced to die.
I've also found my anorexia a bit stronger too though. A lot more hesitation...and a lack of appetite. But I'm trying to get past it. Sometimes I go through these phases. I have been constricting some too ... it's easier too when you're not hungry. But then the night binging is worse because I "can", you know? I'm trying to get through it. I'm not sure if I've lost any because I don't make a habit of weighing myself, but I think I may check tomorrow.

Oh! My commencement (High School Graduation) is this Friday :) I'm excited to see some old friends! And I've also put my 18th Birthday/Halloween Party, Party into effect. My birthday is on October 1st, but I'm having the party on the 30th...it should be very fun :)

And for any of those looking for a good read, my boyfriend and I both just bought a book (lol we decided to start our own book clubs because we're cool like that) called "The Raw Shark Text" by Steven Hall, and might I say so far it's A M A Z I N G!! And I'm only on page 46! If you like some action and mystery from a unique angle I'd definitely pick it up!!

Movie buffs? I also saw "Easy A" and "Resident Evil: Afterlife" this weekend and both were very good! I liked Resident Evil more and I'd say for sure see it in 3D, but Easy A had it's own unique flare too. A cute movie that's also very funny if you're looking for a lighter movie. Resident Evil is all about action and mystery, and I found myself glued to the screen. You don't really need to see the other ones to know everything that's happening either (I didn't see all of them and did with a quick synopsis from John).

I hope you all are doing good :)
Paige xoxo

Paige....congratulations on continuing to make strides in your recovery. I understand the confusing mix of thoughts in your head...that is the ED trying to hold you captive!
Yay for birthdays! I hope you will celebrate YOU!
I always enjoy reading your posts....take care...Jan ♥

Congratulations paige! On both the gold belt(that is so exciting) and no laxative use! I'm so
proud of you! Stay strong okay? I know what it's like when ED is trying to drag you down but you can fight through it :)

awesome idea on books haha. I'm a big book reader. Maybe I'll try to get it sometime this week :) I need to catch up on some reading. And I have totally wanted to see both those movies. My roommate said easy A didn't live up to her expectations but I still
really want to see it. Maybe I'll ask mike on a date when
he visits this weekend :)

Your high school graduation is this Friday? In September? I'm very confused (aren't I always). The party sounds so much fun :) you must be so excited to turn 18 I know
I was! I was also trying to figure out if I should dress up for Halloween and get into spirit here at college but wasn't sure if I would look funny haha.

I hope you have a great day paige! Hope to
hear from you soon :)

allee

WELL DONE PAIGE!! Brilliant that you managed to pass your gold belt, you must feel absolutely over the moon about that, very proud of you!! Even more proud about the laxatives, that is so great to hear that, so encouraging too... keep strong and keep fighting.

I echo what Jan says... I hope you manage to celebrate your birthday in style and celebrate YOU!! You deserve it for sure.

Allee... definitely get dressed up for halloween... you won't look funny, everyone else will be dressed up too and it will get you in the festive mood.

Keep up the good work girls

xx

Thank you all for your support!!

Jan, I will plan on celebrating ME :) My boyfriend is planning an extra special day for me (I've got no clue as to what or WHERE lol but I'm excited). As for the party, things are going well for planning. My one friend who is an aspiring pastry chef offered to make me one of those fancy cakes for my party and I'm excited to see what she comes up with! She's very good at making them. Haha she has also informed me she intends on being a FUNCTIONING human rubics-cube for the party...she wants to win the prize :P My boyfriend and I are also planning our costume. We are being Mr and Mrs Smith from the movie..Mr and Mrs Smith. So far they're looking fantastic!

I am also very proud of my Gold Belt! It's fun learning the new techniques now and I'm again presented with a challenge I intend to conquer!

Still no laxatives, but I think the hemorrhoid I mentioned earlier is getting worse as I'm becoming more constipated. Sorry if that's TMI, but it's part of what I'm dealing with.
Foods is going better though :) I ate a healthy amount today even though I wanted to restrict!

Allee: haha yes, we have our graduation in the fall in case someone made up their credits during summer school to graduate. A weird way to do things so I understand your confusion :P and YES dress up for Halloween!! Halloween is probably one of my favourite celebrations (thanks to my mother haha..she always decorates like crazy!). But definitely go for it! It will help your confidence too, to do something you wouldn't regularly do...and I KNOW you won't get negative feedback from it :)

Paige xoxo

A fully functioning rubics cube... that sounds interesting. I reckon she will win hands down!! Amazing.

Paige, I am so happy to hear that you are still off the laxatives, that is such fantastic news. Sorry to hear about your hemeroid, but hopefully that will get better as your body begins to heal.

Have fun at your graduation

xx

I'll just start by saying that you are a really neat person and i respect you a lot for what you are doing. Eating disordered thoughts are hard to fight, but you are doing it! Slip-ups are just that. If you take 5 steps forward one day and take one step back the next it's okay. Just keep walking in the right direction. I'm really proud of you. Hope everything is going alright today.

you sound like yo are doing wonderfully paige, and you are such a sweetheart.. really !

love ya
maureen

this is awesome news to hear. keep it up! i'm still battling my own demons but trying to take it day by day. sometimes i wonder if i really WANT to be over b/p because i give in so easily. i need to make a COMMITMENT and stick to it.

i also battle with CHRONIC constipation. i've tried everything (natural and unnatural) unfortunately -- including going to several docs. i don't want to be on hard meds so refuse to take a daily pill for it -- i just continue to deal with it. :(

take care,
caroline

Paige,

Your post reads of so much LIFE! ♥ I'm happy for you!

Happy Birthday! (A little early...)

Love,

Jen

Hi Paige,

I was just wondering if everything is ok?

xx