Well after being hooked on Morphine for the past 7 years...(I'm 27 as of last week) I'm wanting to try to put this personal nightmare in the past. The thing that has made my addiction even harder I feel is that I'm so **** good at living my life just the same as everyone else! If you met me at any given time you would never think that I'm a morphine user. Thats what's made it so easy to convince myself that its ok. I say to myself "I have a $350,000 condo,a average car,a beautiful daughter and boyfriend,I maintain employment,pay my bills....ect But behind closed doors I'm anything but... I need it every **** day, spend WAY too much money on it (about $100 a day) and am sick and tired of hiding this secret. My family and boyfriend know that I do it,have never seen me though, they have no idea that its everyday,and its not talked about. (mostly due to the fact that I hide it so well) All this pressure is building up like crazy and I'm sick and tired of having all these deppressing thoughts about my "secret" addiction every night in my bed. I just want to scream out loud so everyone can hear how I'm dying inside and how fed up I am... So thats a little taste into my life right now... Oh I guess I should also mention that I got on the Methadone program and don't even NEED the morphine anymore and still havn't stopped or even slowed down. I want to be able to 100% say that today is the last time I will use and not be another lie to myself. Are you to really pick a day and quit?! I dont want to lie to myself anymore and keep saying every night before bed "I'm done and tommorrow I'm not going to do it" and then wake up,forget all that positive stuff the night before and use AGAIN!
Any feedback is great!!! this is a 1st for me( really wanting to end this ) and can use any help thats out there!!
Thank-u 4 reading...