I am 37 and have been smoking on an off for about three years. It's only been in the last year that I have been experiencing withdrawls when I stop, and the need to smoke everything I have. I used to be able so smoke every now and then, and could have some stashed forever. Now, if I have it, I HAVE to smoke it.. I do not like being addicted to anything, so I'm motivated to stop. In the past year I have 'quit' a few times, but always end up finding excuses to pick up more.. then once I have it, I can't stop smoking.. and the cycle continues.
5 1/2 years ago, I stopped smoking cigarettes.. I learned the hard way that I can never smoke again.. not even a drag, or I'll be back to a pack a day. I think that's where I am with the pot now.. I can't seem to handle just a bit every now and then. I also seemed to have replaced the cigarettes with the pot, smoking every day, all day...
So again, I have decided to quit.. I'm on day two and back to the familiar symptoms. This is the first time I've reached out for support, however.
I have slept pretty much for two days, and now feel really out of sorts. Yesterday was fine, but today I am starting to feel anxious, guilty, annoyed, etc... The emotional effects are the worst for me. I have a supportive partner, but I can't help but feel so worthless and guilty for doing this over and over. Every time I 'quit' he supports me,but I feel like an *** for not staying 'quit', so I tend to try to keep to myself. I really can't wait to start feeling like myself again...
Hi Evolutionary, I think that coming here is such a big step in the right direction. When you quit, is there something in particular that triggers you to start up again/relapse? Is it the sensation, the action? If it's the action, then starting to replace the action with something positive can help you power through future triggers. Here is a site that I believe can be helpful to you, as there is also a phone number that you can call for help/guidance; http://www.myaddiction.com/education/articles/marijuana.html. Please know that we are here for you and here to help you in any way that we can.
Hi. Thanks for writing. One trigger is my ex.. I'm in a three year long, very high conflict custody battle. I am frequently in court, and often representing myself. It's stressful.. the kids are going to his place for the summer (20 hours away) and the weeks prior are particularly busy and stressful. Our attorneys are currently hashing it out and it's getting ugly.. and ultimately that will mean another emergency court date where I'll have to defend myself against false allegations. (He's narcissistic.. diagnosed).
The other trigger is that it's nearly summer for us in Canada.. kids out of school and gone for two months. (minus the drama, it's a break that I dont otherwise get from being mom) That means camping, bbqs, beaches, etc... the perfect time to get high.
I know these are all excuses.. but it's what is in my brain.
Thank you for the link, your words, and your support. I'm starting over tomorrow.. so they are much needed.
Evolutionary, I am so sorry for all of the stress that you are enduring, though I know that you will have the much needed and deserved break that you deserve this summer. This could really be the time for you to slowly but surely work through this; if you can start finding other means and ways to relax in a positive and happy way, then this will start to replace that behavior. It's a habit that you have formed so your mind correlates marijuana with relaxation. Are there other activities or things that you can do to help yourself unwind and relax? If you can slowly start to replace that behavior that can help you get through this. As well, would you consider attending a local support group or therapy? This can really help you work through this the best.
Goodluck! i really hope everything pulls threw. You can do it. Choosing a support group is definitly the way to go, and having someone supportive to love you through it all is definitly helpfull, that's what is helping me to stop. But i wish the best for you!