Dealing with highs and lows, I'm all over the place, my hormones are kicking up. I have been numb for the past 3 years since the break up with my son's father after 8 years. I never wanted to get involved again. But lately after forgiving him and letting go I started feeling again, feeling beautiful and confident again after working very hard on myself and leaving a confrontational message on my father's cell phone telling him I remember the sexual abuse as a child and that I forgive him and that now God can deal with him. I cut off my family who refused to believe me who to me are a bit toxic to me opened up a new FB account and out with the old and in with the new. I'm a Christian and I firmly believe in abstaining from you know til after marriage. I've lost a good amount of weight since I started recovering my self esteem and confidence back I even started painting and writing again and I owe this to God for giving me the strength, power, and clarity to do so. I really love sharing here on support groups the feedback and encouragement have been amazing and I love you for doing that. I'm on meds, I get counseling, I pray, do self talk, learning to accept me the good and the not so good. I do still struggle with anger but acknowledge it and try to understand my self and be easy it was multiple abusers even a couple women I was raped as a child and then held captive and raped repeatedly for 3 days til I jumped out of a window and made my escape. So yes I have a lot that I still need to work through God is faithful and He is the only Father I know and believe and trust. Letting go was the hardest part.
WOW! You're showing such great strength! First, I admire you for feeling beautiful and confident again and getting over the breakup. Second, I also admire you for confronting your father. Have you heard from him since you left him the message? I love painting, too, however, I'm not very good at it. I paint solely for myself. Rarely do I show my work to anyone else. Continue on the path your on and I know you'll keep getting stronger! I wish you all the best!!
@GirlKitty Hi, I use paint to express my feelings it’s like putting your pain on paper and letting it go. I paint for me but also have plans to do more, my children say my paintings are scary LoL maybe they are supposed to be. Thank you for your great encouragement, no my father hasn’t contacted me because he knows it’s truth I’m sure he doesn’t want it to get out. But it will sooner or later the truth when poisonous has a way of making it to the light and God is Faithful. Dancing is the greatest love of my life when it comes to art I love interpretive dancing and some modern. Thank you again. And God bless you.