Delayed Ejaculation! Sometimes a blessing in bed, sometimes

Delayed Ejaculation! Sometimes a blessing in bed, sometimes a curse. I can have sex for a long time sometimes and the Mrs. enjoys that but not always. Sometimes I am incapable of ejaculating at all, no matter how vigorous I hump or **** it myself. Sometimes it is not a problem but it all to often is. I never even heard of 'delayed ejaculation' until a couple weeks ago and I didn't realize that I had it but I do, and I am a sex addict.

Before you attribute your problem to the sexual addiction, I would STRONGLY suggest you get in to see your personal physician and have a COMPLETE physical exam. Many physical problems can cause the difficulties you are experiencing including diabetes, high blood pressure, a side effect of one of the medications you might be taking, and low testosterone levels. Erectile dysfunction, the kind of thing they treat with Viagra, Levitra, or Cialis is related to blood flow in the penis. If you have this disorder, you'll have trouble getting, and/or maintaining an erection, and that doesn't sound like what's going on with you. So check with your doctor before you start wondering if the problem is related to your addiction.

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I agree with charli0217 to see your doctor. But my husband dealt with that same problem for a long time, he saw the doctor and there was no physical reason, he was physically healthy. Once he quit watching porn the problem resolved. I have read that more young men now than ever before are experiencing this problem and erectile dysfunction also. You can learn more at your But definitely see your doctor to rule out any physical reasons as well.

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Thank you both for the great advice! I am in therapy now learning things about my past I have been in denial for my whole life. I believe my DE is more related to the severe emotional, physical and sometimes somewhat sexually abuse I endured in childhood. I have a wonderful wife and we have great love quite often without DE. It is worst for me in times of depression and if I ever have a flashback of my childhood during sex, which indeed happens sometimes, ejaculation is almost impossible at that point. I appreciate the physical aspect you mentioned and while I am not trying to be in denial, I have been doing a lot of deep personal therapy lately. Are there any other men out there that have flashbacks of being molested as a boy? I was never raped but the exposure in conjunction to the other physical traumas I have hidden it all from everyone my whole life until lately, I was too embarrassed to admit it happened to me.

@Moving_forward Let me first answer your question. I, too, have had flashbacks to my childhood sexual abuse. And occasionally, I’ll still have one or two. But as I’ve progressed through my recovery, they’ve become fewer and fewer, and are spaced farther and farther in time. The flashbacks remind you how powerless you were in the situation, and that makes it extremely difficult to perform sexually in the here and now. In time, and with more therapy, this should become less and less of an issue for you. But it’s going to take some time, so don’t expect instant results.

Thank you Charlie, I really appreciate you reaching out and saying that, it really reinforces my character and makes me feel less alone. I have always been an addict of many different things in my life at different times: Alcohol, cigarettes, cocaine, prescription narcotics, caffeine, sex and masturbation, using parlors to masturbate for me. A few months ago, my wife was raped in a cocaine and alcohol fueled double sex scenario. It has changed our lives and we understand ourselves now and are learning about each other and our dark pasts. This event has brought us together in a way that we never anticipated and as far as substance now at this time, hash(way way a lot) and some coffee are the only substance I have not let go of, I felt like I needed it to cope with my rage and keep me from being violent but now, I understand the big picture and I am much less angry than I was, and ready to start having a healthier relationship to all things in my life including my wife and cannabis. Thank you again, SG has been really helpful for me ever since last month and I am very grateful to share my experience with you all.

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@Moving_forward You’ve got a great attitude and outlook. You and your wife have really been through lot. Stay strong!