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Hey Thinkit,
You wrote down everything I feel right now. I understand your pain that I see in your words right now. Its hard. But we got to keep fighting okay?
As I have written before that happiness does not exist with an ED. So could you honestly choose your ED over happiness???
You can fight this. You aren't alone! So many people on here know exactly what you are going through! Keep writing okay? We are all here for you! The more you write on here, the more you realize how surrounded you are by those who understand and want to help you! At least thats how I see it on this site.
Thinking of you!
allee
im very sorry that your in so much pain but you keep fighting you can do it take each day 1 at a time
thank you ailee i will keep trying to write
To you both....you may FEEL lost, just as you may FEEL hopeless, but you truly are not either.
An ED can cause you to feel many things, but it's usually distorted.
Please seek the advice and guidance of a professional, and keep writing!! You are worth fighting for, and you CAN beat this!! NEVER GIVE UP!! HUGS...Jan ♥
I too feel lost…I’m still convinced that I don’t have a problem or an ed. I used to weigh —and dropped to— but feel fat. No clothes fit me, people think I look “sickly” but I just don’t see it. when i think of anorexia i think it means being — lbs or less. I don’t eat, just drink hot tea with milk all day long. I’m convinced the mile in my tea is where i get my calories from so am cutting back on that. So my ? is this…do I have an eating disorder? Or am I just feeling this way bc I’m ending a 20 year abusive marraige?
Please my friend stay with us. all is not lost, there is HOPE. I know from personal experience. You are not alone there are people that care. WE CARE!!!!! Look forward to hearing from you again.
I know it hurts. And I know it sucks to keep fighting, day in and day out, only to feel like you're losing the war. But hang in there! You can do this! I've got faith in your tenacity and perseverance!
Keep posting, and let us know how things are going!
Love,
Vero
i do know people who have gotten past all this and are in recovery, I also know I have to do it get rid of anorexia but he wont listen to me he makes me listen to him i just want everything to stop, end dissapear run away be gone be done with all of it and be left with 1 and only 1 voice
thank
sarah
Hi there. I just wanted to say I feel the exact same way as you do, so please know you are not alone. I’d like to hide under the covers and never come out. I haven’t yet found an answer to the ED…my therapist has no helpful suggestions and of course my family is just like “why don’t you just eat”? It is something they will never understand. Like if it was that easy you think I’d still have it??? But hang in there…it’s gotta get better, doesn’t it??
YOU have the power to make this happen Sarah, please seek out some professional help for your ED. It is not something many can fight on their own.
yes i am seeing someone but its extreemly diff and i dont mind doing things that are difficuilt but iv'e had this ed over 25 years and just started receiving help these past few years and i think im just tired tired of everything
sarah
but i also know i am a fighter yes i will do this
Sarah,
It sounds like you're really dealing with depression, too... Has this been addressed? For me, I became completely STUCK in the recovery process until I started medication for my depression. THEN things started improving! ♥
Keep fighting!! :)
Love,
Jen
I just don't feel like I will ever not be anorexic. I just am sooo afraid to eat..afraid that I'll gain weight and my clothes will be tighter and that scares me/although idk why. I'm 5"3 and weigh __ lbs. I have a bachelor's degree in Nutrition (go figure) and know I should put on at least _____ lbs. I just can't make my self do it....
Recovery IS possible. 
What kind of help do you have?
hi
So I just moved into a different city and I have no idea where anything/anybody is. Had to move far away from previous homw b/c my abusive marraige took a huge toll on my credit rating and my new place was the only one who said yes, we will take you. I am feeling very panicky and playing the "what if" game alot. Now that I am totally alone, with no family or friends, my ed is getting worse. It's kinda like why bother? Meanwhile my jeans keep falling off of me, but I'm terrified of them actually fitting if I gained weight. How crazy is that??? I'm being treated for major depression and anxiety/PTSD, but no one in my area seems to know how to treat anorexia. Hope I make it another day. They just run into each other and I feel like I just lose ground as time goes by. I just wish I was "normal" whatever that is.