Dementia and dealing with the family

My mother has recently shown signs of dementia, and over the past few years has been getting progressivly worse. She now feels that her sons, daughters, grandchildren are all stealing her money. She is also paranoid about the children trying to put her into an insane-asylum. She refuses to go to the doctors to be diagnosed or treated, and has cancelled several appointments, and now refuses to talk to anyone. She sits alone in her apartment (husband is deceased) and lets her mind wander. She recently complained of horrifying nightmares. We can't get her to a doctor and in speaking to the doctors ourselves, we have been told there is nothing anyone can do until she shows signs of being harmful to herself or someone else. We cannot sit by and let her deteriorate in her apartment. We are afraid of her mental state and how she might take the easy way out.

Does anyone know of any way we can get her assessed by a doctor or committed for testing without her approval ?

She spoke recently of getting back at everyone by donating her life savings (and her husbands) inheritance to charity just to screw everyone. We did have power of attorney, but she went to the bank and cancelled after having a dream that we were stealing her money. (Not one penny is un-accounted for).

We need some assistance both mentally and financially.

Is there anyone out there who has been through this and can offer some advise. We are only trying to do whats best for our Mother.


oh i'm so sorry terry, both my folks had the illness. in my experience it is as the doctor tould you. in my case we brought mom to live with us. she finally agreed when she was physically unable to care for herself and her mobile home. (daddy was hospitalized with alzheimers) are any of you able to take her in your home? would mom be open to this option with one of you? hey mom this place seems like so much work for you to keep up this a possible approach? you may want to get advice from a psychiatrist and/or geriatric doctor on how best to approach mom. i do know that the whole thing is terrifying. a consult with a lawyer may help i don't know. without a doctor and/or attempt at harming someone or herself your hands may be tied. don't know about your states laws. maybe someone else on the boards can offer more assistance. my heart goes out to you and your family any other questions? i'll share anything from my experience in the hope that it could help in some way.

dinky, just checking to see how things are progressing for you.

So sorry to here about your mom. Both of my parents have this disease and it is a stuggle everyday. My dad is like your mom, everyone just seems to be against him and I think the worse thing is he trust strangers more than he does people who has been in his life for years.

I wish I could be of more help, but ther isn't anything really I can say. My mom has shown some improvement with the medicine aresep, so getting her to the doctor could help. But from experience I know that can be next to impossible!

I wish you a lot of luck and of course my prayers.

I am so sorry what you and your whole family are going thru. My mother had alzheimers but she was seeing things and ending up as a happy child. it was really hard as i watched her accept the nursing home as her family and forgot us. I do not know if it will help but i had to put my husband into the hospital because he threatened suicide. I had to have the sheriffs dept take him and they told me that if i went to the courthouse and signed papers than they could keep him to observe him. I only hope that you can find some help. Just start calling different resources and asking questions; if they cannot help then maybe they can guide you somewhere else. Good luck. In Christs Love