Depressed with NHL

HI all! I am new here- My husband has Stage 4 NHL and is getting chemo. He is not the same and very angry. Any dos or don'ts or ANY advice? He is a good man- just very remote now.

Tell him now is not the time to be angry, he have to has the strength to fight this. I was diagnose in July with stage 4 also and will be on my 6th chemo next week. He can fight this. I was shock when I found out I had it, all I could do is pray that I will have to beat this and I have to be thankful to have a good husband to help me through this.
He must stay strong… Good luck.

Kermica is right, start a new thread. There is a wealth of knowledge from those in treatment as well as from those on the "Watch and Wait" plan. Facing such sudden changes in a person's life is overwhelming. I think the patient as well as those caring for them, go through all the stages of grief. Often, repeating stages once thought finished, only to deal with them again. Last year, my husband had Prostate Cancer & surgery and this year I have Lymphoma. He says he feels it was easier to be a patient and deal with cancer, than now being married to cancer patient, because he wants to fix it and make it go away, and he knows he can't fix this. He says this makes him feel very helpless and the fact that now he can simply ask, "what can I do, or how can I help?" makes all the difference in the world during my stress, even if I have nothing for him to do, it is the "having someone to go through it with" that works. His cancer taught us that. I also suggest talking to the social worker on his care team about your concerns. Many times when people are asked if they feel depressed and the spouse is present, they will answer, "No!" So you may have to speak in private. Good Luck and welcome to this group.

HI Clueless and welcome to the group. I was your husband not to long ago, angry at the world and most of all the people who love me. I was thinking to myself WHY!!!! Everyone is still going on with their lives and here I am, girl interrupted. I can honestly say I was envious that no one was taking pity on me (if that is what I was looking for). But I had to step back and take a look, they were trying to make my life as normal as they could, and they were also afraid of what could happen. They too were angry because they knew the old me would never be the same. In time that anger turned into acceptance. Give your husband some time, this disease makes you go through different stages with emotions, sad, denial, confused, anger, acceptance, and courage. Just be there for him, and know he will come to be okay in time.


THANK YOU!!! I think I am just desparate to be told that this will get better and I have not lost him forever. I appreciate the advice/direction and will be talking to his team again in a couple of weeks.