Didn't check all weekend but last night I woke up aroused after having a dream of a guy touching me. I wasn't sexually aroused but I had an erection. I had to check and I didn't get aroused so idk why I always wake up aroused it might just be hormones. Not checking made me feel better but I kept getting spikes while watching tv. Every time I saw an attractive guy I had to check but I fought through it. It's still hard though. Sometimes I get thoughts making me feel like being gay or bi would give me freedom or make things better. But I can't get aroused to that kind of stuff. I don't wven want to! These thoughts give me so much anxiety but they get more convincing all the time. I know there is nothing wrong with gay or bi people but I'm still afraid of becoming one. I don't enjoy checking guys out, I feel nothing when I do. Maybe is false attractions. Anyone ever think they're attracted to someone and then check for arousal with them and aren't aroused?
I am going through a similar thing. Have you had arousing thoughts or had sex with girls recently or ever? But from the looks of it, it seems to be teenage hormones and HOCD that are giving you those thoughts. Remember it's completely normal for straight guys to find other guys attractive-they just don't like to admit it. What makes a person homo/bisexual is they want to have sex with guys (and girls if your bi). But I would guess that you just have HOCD. Good luck :)
@SomethingSmart thanks I hate the thought of thinking a guy is “hot.” I hate even typing it. It gives me anxiety. I get thoughts saying I’ll like it and that triggers me into checking; only to find that I am repulsed by it
I am literally the exact same way-constantly checking and hating even typing it-except I DO get aroused and that is the scary part because I don't know whether it is the OCD or not. I did comfort me a little knowing that other people are going through it even though it depresses me that other people are going through it too. If it helps though-you seem really do have the symptoms of HOCD. But the thing that does help me a little is to just be okay with it-so what-I'm gay? It's legal now and you'll find a loving and supportive community...But I wish you the best whatever you try to do.
@SomethingSmart thanks so much