Good morning my friends( or afternoon or evening!),
I recently sent out some of my writing manuscripts to different online literary journals to see if they would publish my work---and well, got one of my first rejections. Sigh. Enter sadness...
At first my ED said, 'look you are not only a fat cow but a failure at everything you do!" You mission in life is to lose weight and you are too dumb to do anything else in life!"
But as I re read the email the editor wrote me back, it seemed quite positive and hopeful . She was actually really nice( a rarity from editors) and said I had the makings of a good poet it is just that I need a little training and editing ( what writer doesn't?) She said my use of language was very strong just that I needed to learn about the structure of poems. But she greatly encouraged me to keep submitting and wished me luck. She even went as far as giving me writing tips and how to tighted up my Bio as well as suggesting I go to a poetry workshop. She even gave me info on resources that might help me get published.
At the end she even complimented my work and said I'm on my way to being a good writer which kinda sparked hope in me. I mean, I was so saddened by the rejection I was in shock----yet as i reread her reply email it was almost a 'good rejection'. LOL. She basically just said my poems needed editing and to further my education in writing, but that overall my work was good.
I mean , hell, I've had almost no training in writing--I took one class in English( creative writing ) years ago! So, I'm doing this all on my own, with no experience, no college training, no editor or agent to help me out. So, I can't expect to be published on one of my first tries (although i DID get published years ago on my first poetry submission back in 1999).
The good news is that her rsponse back was complimentary, hopeful, and encouraging. So even though my work didnt get published, it was helpful for me to hear her feedback and compliments.
I've never ever thought I'd be almost be happy over a rejection! LOL, at first I was so sad cause I wanted to get published right away , but hey-- life doesnt happen like that. I mean, in my life I deeply fear rejection cause my parents always told me I would always fail and that I was dumb, and no good, and couldnt do anything well. So in my mind, rejection is soo scary because it validates what my parents told me: that I'm too dumb to do anything in life.
But I also have to realize that nothing in life is easy and everyone faces rejection, and that to succeed you have to try try again. I was never ever taught this in my life so I always gave up when I didnt succeed. Now I won't. I will try again, like that editor told me to!
I think many times with our EDs we focus so much on my our body we forget we have MINDS, you know? Life isnt all about looking good all the time, but what you CAN do with your body! We were NOT put on earth to be a mere image, when we succumb to those thoughts we are selling ourselves short! We are more than our looks!
I am focusing more on writing now as a distraction from ED. Right now, my weight is flunctuating sooo badly from the refeeding from my last relapse--I NEED A GOOD DISTRACTION. ED keeps telling me I'm a failure cause my weight is acting like a yo yo now---but I wont listen!
Im not gonna let ED ruin my dreams!
love ya'll
Maureen