Divorced after 25 yrs Ex lives with girlfriend while I fell in love with an abusive guy - Help!?

Help! I am going through a divorce after 25 years of marriage with one man who decided to move out of our house last April 2011 and move in with his new girlfriend he met online. This relationship had its better moments but for the most part, it was unhealthy.

In the meantime I meet up with an family friend that I have know their family for 30 years, and he had broke up with his wife because of her infidelity with his own brother. He had been broken up with her for 1.5 year before I met up with him. However, since our encounter of falling in love so quickly without even creating a friendship to get to know each other and screen each other out, we both feel into each other’s arms. I feel we both have very strong feelings for each other, I feel that I fell in love too fast and left my heart get caught up in this relationship. In the meantime, he is not a US citizen he's in Mexico (I live in San Diego), 10 mins away from my apartment. I have know this respectable family for over 30+ years and the WHOLE FAMILY LOVES ME and RESPECTS ME. They think very highly of me, since I first met them when I was a teenager because my Comadre is married to my boyfriends brother.

Cons of my relationship:
Not a US Citizen, not yet divorced (his ex-wife is in the US), he lost his job last year in August - currently unemployed (very difficult to find a job in Tijuana, Mexico without a HS Diploma), he is very handy and can fix anything, he has a good heart. But I feel like I deserve more out of this relationship. I am very fragile, and he is very jealous, but yet I have caught him in small lies. He currently lives with his Mom and Dad while he is unemployed, he is saving his money from what he had earned to come over to the U.S. to fix his papers (he has already filed with the Immigration). He COULD NOT get away with bringing another girl home to sleep with because his Mom and Dad are very old school and they adore me. Mind you, if we were to break up, I DO KNOW they would ALWAYS pick their son over me, that is only natural - however, if and when that happens I would just stay away from the family for a good long while, because it would hurt me too much to see him with another woman. I do know he loves me, but somehow I just don't feel like I am appreciated and adored by him like I should be. I think he should be trying HARDER to find a job, and I don't like the white lies, deep down inside I do not trust him. The worse thing that I can admit to myself is …”I’m Afraid to Be Alone.” What do I do???

I am a man in same boat.I just seperated after 15 years of marrage.Hardest thing i ever did as i have a 12 old boy.I left 3 months ago after learning of her cheating on me for 2 years with a co worker.I tried make it work but she loves me not in love with me and i had to watch her go to work with that guy who is also married with 3 kids.I wasnt gretest hubby in world this i know but deserved to at least be told her feelings changed and tried counsiling.Anyway its tough being alone as i am a family man who believes in God.I can say u get used to being on ur own after awhile.LIKE U HATE BEING ALONE but keep busy.Hang in there everything will come together,just takes time and inner stregth I volunteer at a hospital and it seems to keep my mind busy as i am a retired cop stay strong and keep ur head up