I do believe that people come in and out of our lives for a reason, though there are friends that I feel that I cut out of my life so quickly for one reason or another. Recently I was out of town and alone, it gave me a lot of time to think and I felt so lonely, totally and utterly lonely. These people were good friends to me for the most part, I don't believe that they judged me, but because of one reason or another I just cut them out of my life. With one friend for example, we had a really bad weekend, and I just had it with her, so instead of talking it out with her and explaining, I just cut her out. Then, another friend opened up about her fiance and his lies, and I told her how I really felt about him. When she didn't return a text or call, I energetically cut her out of my life. Now, I am sitting here feeling very alone and like I keep cutting one friend out after the other after the other. I realize that none of us are perfect and therefore we make mistakes, so is it worth working hard to regain these friendships? And is this possible?
I would love to hear your stories of friendships fallen and regained. Thank you so much for your help!
back in my drinking days that was my mo with friends and boyfiends. back then i did'nt know how to communicate. rather than deal with it i ran away from it. and then there were times i was right (whether true or not) and i was not going to call or give them the time of day. i was very good a the silent treatment as well. again for a long time not knowing how to communicate. and i think that even if i did back then i was to stubborn, arrogant and prideful anyway. i was controling, manipulating and if you did'nt see things my way it was fight, silent treatment or cut them out altogether. i was a real pip!
with that said it is possible to call and speak to these friends and what ever the issue you have at least dealt with it rather than cut it off. you can always agree to disagree. and then of course there are some situations where it is best to end the friendship....but to end it with closure....to just "cut off" is to not deal. and of course there are situations where the other person will not talk and in cases like that there is nothing we can do but say our peace in a kind and loving way and put the ball in their court sort of speak. this is just from some of my experiences from back in the day....and my now...hope it help puppy, i'm real sorry you had some "bad' experiences....lets see if we can help you come to some resolution much love from da wiffy
Kathy, thank you so much for sharing your experiences with me and for giving me such wonderful advice. I am so good at cutting people out of my life, it's something that I have been doing for years. Back then, I would cut them out and just keep moving forward. And, you are so right, it was simply running away and not dealing with it. I ran and I ran and I ran. I can't keep running. As I am getting older, these friendships are now meaning more and more to my life. There are of course friendships that I really don't want back in my life as they weren't good, but a couple of friends as of late that I cut out, I really should work to get back. I've never done that before, it's usually the friends that really push to get back into my life. But, now it's time for me to step up and work to get these friendships back regardless of who was wrong or right.
One friend is the one who is getting married; I sent her a text letting her know that I missed her and would like to catch-up. Friends are having a bachelorette party for her out of town and they really want me to be there and said that it would mean so much to our friend. I am now thinking of going. What do you think?
how about putting the pride in the back po
cket get dolled up and go and wish your friend well
ps i’m gonna work on the old support someones and will answer your other messages later lovie puppy
Kathy, you are oh so fabulous! Thank you again for your wonderful words of wisdom. You are so right, I'm going to get all dolled up, put a huge smile on my face and wish her the very best.
Kathy, please don't worry about responding to me, let's work on Support Someone...they're most important :-)
Thanks so much for cheering me on Kathy! It means so much to me. I just want to live a life of no regrets.
so when is this event coming up? and what ya gonna wear darling?
The event is next weekend and I am going to don my Sunday best ;-) I will wear a summer dress and a very big smile. I actually talked to her for 2 hours last night and we really took it out on the open road. I realized my mistake in how I approached being open and honest, I think that I took it way too far. I should have expressed how I felt and left it at that, but I went on and on and on. BIG LESSON LEARNED. Next time, I'll say my bit and then zip the lip. I guess that I am just very protective of my family and friends, and I went into over-protective mode with her. She knows and understands that, and I am happy that we are getting back in action.
aaahhh yet another victory in puppyville. isn’t it wonderful when you can talk things out and especially when you are wrong promtly admit…hey we are all blind when it comes to our own behaviour and very aware of everyones elses. i’m so proud of you hun…lessons learned and shared…we all learn if we listen…often times we are to busy talking …oh life as a human with all our foibles sure if interesting.
Thank you so much Kathy! I really appreciate your love and support. This was a huge lesson learned on so many levels. First, know when to zip my lips and keep my opinions to myself. I am usually pretty good about it, but when she told me what she told me it really triggered something. I think that trust is everything in a relationship and when a lie has been kept up for over two years, that's pretty scary. But, it's not my life, it's hers and she's made the decision for herself. I am there to support whatever decision she's made. As long as she's happy, I am happy. Another lesson learned, is to really take a step back and see both sides, this is a much better way to realize that you may not have been right.
uuhhh beautifully put and true. do you want to be right or do you want to be happy....learned that one in aa. are'nt you something....you have such a way of sharing not only what your issue is/was but also lessons learned with such grace....is there something in the water in puppyville, if so send me some as i can be dumb as dirt and stubborn as a mule and my english spelling and composition is'nt so hot either. i'd wanna be a puppypal when i grow up.
Kathy, you made me laugh out loud, you are the best and always know how to put a big smile on my face. I wonder if there's something special in the water in Wiffyville? You are just too sweet, thank you so much for your wonderful compliment. And, you are so right "do you want to be right or do you want to be happy". Wow, very well put and I will most certainly be repeating that quite often. Thank you for sharing.
How are you doing and how are you feeling? We are counting down....