I've dated both men my age and men significantly older than me. The last time I dated an older man, I was in my 20s and the age difference was really pretty obvious because I was in my whoop-it-up phase and as were all of my friends. He said that I lived in a "sorority" because of the ways my friends and I behaved. Now being in my late 30s and in a different place in my life, it isn't so bothersome.
How do you all feel about significant age gaps in relationships? And, do you have any good and/or bad experiences of such?
Sadly, I feel men are always going to act like children, lol. But yes, depending on where a woman is in her life, I feel age matters. We crave a type of maturity that I'm convinced all men are capable of, yet just hold out until the very last minute. Of course there are those wonderful exceptions, but I have yet to experience that. Sure there are younger guys that say they are ready and willing to give you everything you want, but for me that's always been a huge gamble. Hormones, temptations, reality of life, all get in the way and it's so easy to say "not right now". The older I get, I'm starting to realize I need someone with more life experience than myself, someone who has "been there, done that" so that he knows for sure what he wants is the same thing as me. It's hard finding someone in complete alignment with that. So I guess I'm answering your question from my own experiences in knowing that an age gap when the man is younger doesn't work for me. I have yet to experience a significantly older man, but I can imagine that also being either really good, or really bad. I want to spend the rest of my life with someone, when there's such a gap, reality is I would be spending my older years alone. That is really something I need to consider. Also, I would prefer to have my perfect fairy tale, and experience all of life's joys with the one I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. So if a man I meet has already been married, or has children or whatever, it woudn't be ideal for me. I realize that's very picky, but I feel I deserve the best because I know whoever I end up with, I will make very very happy!
You absolutely deserve the very best July. Like you, I've never been able to comfortably date a younger man. I don't know why, but I've always envisioned myself with an older man who's ready for all of the things that I am ready for in life. From my experience, I do believe that men mature more slowly than women, now that's not to say that there aren't men who mature quickly, but its just my direct experience. I have a big group of male friends all in their 30s and not any one of them is near or around being ready for a serious relationship. They're good guys and I know they want that eventually, but it's not where they are in life now. It could also be that they haven't met the right girls. As well, I've dated several older men and their maturity levels were of a frat boy. I guess that just goes to show, that sometimes there's no rhyme or reason with the age factor.
I agree with your thoughts on wanting to share the same things in life with someone and if you're too far apart in age, the thought of possibly losing someone early on and spending your twilight years alone. But, I guess it's all a gamble because none of us know how long we are here.
Thank you as always for sharing you fabulous insight!