Doctor's Appointment

I had to get a medical release for my new job (which I am super excited about) so today was the day that I scheduled to get my paperwork taken care of. The nurse that brought me back asked me to step on the scale. I declined but she said it was required to I asked to be weighed backward and for her to not say the weight. She complied. Unfortunately, she wrote the number on the front of my chart right in the middle of the paper. When she set it on the desk in the room and asked me to take a seat next to it I saw the number. I couldn't really focus for the whole rest of the meeting because I was so pissed that she would do that. Between when she left and the doctor came in I started to get tears in my eyes but managed to hold them back... until I got in my car. Now I can't stop crying and I'm totally freaking out. I know that I am exactly the same person I was before I saw that number but it was still a shock to see how much I have gained (clearly more than I thought).
I'm going to have to fight hard over the next few days to keep ED out. Please help.

oh brita im soooo sorry!!!! im sorry the nurse did that to you! geez. some nurses just suck i dont know why!!! maybe she didnt realize what she did--but im so sorry..

one thing to remember---brita-----and i always know and think of this--weight is not always what we think. weight can be muscle, fluid, bone, even (eeewww) fecal matter. it might not be what we think you know? when i was working out a lot in the summer i got more muscle (thats gone down from my past illness) but i KNEW for a fact the number on the scale would be HIGHER than i would like.(muscle weight MORE than fat). so i specificlaly asked the nurse---- to blind weight me and that it was important. do you know brita--sometimes the nurses would laugh and give me dirty looks? well screw them brita cuz this is my recovery and i dont want to know the number. havent known the number in years--years!!!! cause i know i carry more muscle and my bones are not small--not big but not small, which might add up as higher on the scale (even if i was smaller).

brita i know my number maybe higher than i want--but it is good for me. that is why i never ask to see it.
weight can be a multitude of things and not even weight... remember that...

i always say brita the SCALE LIES and it is true. you really cant get an accurate reading from the fact of the body retaining fluid, muscle, bone or anything else going on....

please try not to focus on it and remember how much better you feel.

and next time brita---make sure the nurse blind weighs you and keeps the chart away from you..

i know it hurts now, but you can get through this..

love
maureen

Thanks Maureen.
Yes now I know what to do next time. Of course it was my own free will to look at the chart and I looked away as soon as I realized what I was doing. I'm not even sure I saw the number right but I probably did.
No one should have to go through this! Its so disrespectful of the nurse. I think thats why I'm so upset. The number is just a number but I feel hurt that my wishes were not respected. I think I'm going to go to a local support group this afternoon so that I can really talk to people about what I'm feeling. This sucks!

Britta,

Don't let that number get you down. You said it yourself - you are no different than before you knew the number. Try to focus on that. I know it is hard. I too get very fixated on the "number". I also think that the nurse was very insensitive to you. She should have thought a little more before setting your file down in front of your eyes.

Hang in there girl. And, like Maureen said, weight is not always what we perceive it to be. There is so much interwoven in the number that we fixate on.

Hugs and Love
Shana

yes you know some nurses are very very disrespectful of the blind weighing. i had one nurse almost LAUGH at me. i mean, what? is that FUNNY to you??? it was weird---but i didnt let it get me down. i mean who is she to judge--- what i am going through??? there is one NICE nurse at my docs and she always blind weighs and is nice about it. in fact--do you know she once said--'get off that scale i wont weigh you this time'!!! she said she used the last weight i was ---and i was like thanks!!!! so her i really like----others can just be rude about it . and that part scares me. but i have to be above that and move on... not everyone can be nice about this.. some people really dont get it...

im sorry the nurse made you feel upset... i think it would be a great idea to find a local support group and talk about it--thats a great idea!!!!!!!

love
maureen