Does anyone else find themselves becoming way more self conscious. I'm always worrying if I look, talk, act, dress gay. I don't even remember what/who I am and constantly worry that I am changing into something I know I am not. I also feel like I am supposed to adapt the personalities and life experiences of all the gay people in my life. For example one of my friends was in the closet until he was 44 and came out like a few years ago. I always seem to force a connection between his life and mine like I am checking to see if I might be gay. It's really strange because before all of this i'd never have anything like that.
You are describing my life. I also feel like im changing to a person Im not. My therapist told me that the old me ist still there but the fear is shadowing it. Even if im conscious about whats happening in my brain its hard to make the brain understand it. Its so strange because just one year ago I was so sure I was straight and had a Happy life with my boyfriend. But just over one day my brain has changed and thats wierd. About your friend I must say it made me spike a lot and to be honest it must be hard for him to deny it in 44 years. But I cant belive that Someone just wake up and decide to be gay.
@23ygrl Thats what makes it so scary, I can’t imagine how someone went 44 years being someone they’re not. He also has really firm views about what being gay is, all of which scare the crap out of me. It makes me spike all the time and honestly what he has said has not made this eaiser. We have completely different lives and upbringings but it’s like I force myself to find examples in his life that don’t exist in mine. I am sorry I made you spike, I didn’t mean to =(