Does anyone else have feelings that they will never feel better? I am having nightmares when I do sleep, but most of the time I can't sleep. I am really feeling like I am never going to have calm life again. I know it has only been 3 months but I really don't know how I can ever get back to a normal life when I feel like my life was over when Robert die on March 11, He was my life for 5 yrs and now I don't remember how I lived before that.
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boohead I share your feelings 100% My husband **** was my life for more then 30 years, for me there will be a long hard road, growing old alone is sad. I wanted so much to retire from work and spend time with him now that is gone forever, I am so sad and it is taking it's toll on my physical condition, Night time and weekends are tuff, I see other couples together and it hurts, I would not wish this pain on anyone, For me it is just navigating through the same routine ever day knowing nothing good can come of this loss. Boohead I for one do know how you feel and and I wish you still had Robert and I still had Richard ( **** ) God Bless Your Friend Bing123
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Me too, Mickey was my life for 30 years too. Change sucks but I promised him I would be okay so I will be. you will too
I feel exactly the same.. I am luckyily having weekly Councilling every week I ask when am I not going to feel like this..
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Micbirdie It appears that you and Micky had talked about life alone, May I ask was he sick for a time, for me the loss of my husband was not anticipated no good by just gone, You like me had your husband for many years, my llife is his life, his life was my life. May I ask do you ever feel him with you ? any wierd stuff at home ? I admired your desire to be ok and enmbrace a new normal for me I have to stay alive ( For the kids ) but I won't be living if you know what I mean. Bing123
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@Bing123 i had mine for 42 years and we were always together the past 2 years alone is the hardest thing in my life to deal with, mine said I will be back in 2 hours and never came back and yes I have strange things happen in my home all the time I think some days I am going crazy~!!!
You're not crazy that is just him keeping you company.. when you are ready he will pass over. Mine daughter stayed with us for a period of time also. Mickey played tricks on me also
In a way I hope he doesn't pass over for a while. i want him to be with me for a while. I know that is selfish. But I loved him too much to let him go yet.
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Maybe heaven ( the new earth ) is here, no one says heaven has to be in the clouds, I think they are with us as long as we either need them or want them, my sister has had someone appear to her for over 40 years, not constant and she does not know what triggers this occurance, I think love is a strong bond which surely God has provided many of us, I personally believe they do not go anywhere per say, heaven surely is with the lord for those that believe and God is every where, maybe it is just another physical plane that we can not access, the subject as so many opinons but one thing is for sure we want them at peace and with us so I will pray for that. Micbirde May I ask if you were upset this the apparent delay in getting the diagnosis of Cancer as you write that by the time the findings were known it was to late for treatment, if this is the case that is really sad. I am a nurse and have also been disappointed in the medical field myself. God Bless Bing123
Thank you for your ideas I think you are right. I can't feel him around me probably because I am so upset. If I would just relax maybe I could be at peace. I have felt others so I'm hopeful or maybe he is busy because others have a need for comfort. His kids ignored him for years so they are suffering from guilt I'm while I just have grief, maybe he is with them at the moment.
Well, I understand about the kids. Robert's daughter at least once month texted me and blames of killing her dad and also I have stole jewerly. I final got our lawyer mail her a copy of Robert's will that I didn't know he had done. They hadn't talked in 7 months. Some one told me to worry about my greive not hers and I know Robert is with both of us. We both of our radios keep changeing stations and the volumes keep changeing too.
@boohead13 I hear what your saying. I worry about Ray’s kids coming when I’m not home and taking things. We were married 10 years and they came to see their Dad maybe 5 times. I can’t feel bad about their guilt we were always here for them. I do have anger about the way they treated him. So many times he would say I’m just done with them but didn’t mean it really. He was just hurt. They have not talked to me since he died and probably never will. I had the memorial for them so I have done all I can. The last thing his son said to me was a hug in the hospital and whispered “I was going to come see you guys today.” I just said I know. I knew it wasn’t true. Someone once told me to stop being upset about what someone else has done, that is their memory and they have to justify it. That makes me feel better hope it does that for you.
Well, me sent her the will really hurt her more. She was supposed to get nothing. Robert's truck that I give to her was supposed to go to my 18 yr old son. But my son didn't want it because that is where my husband die. So, he was fine with me given to her. But really she wasn't suppose to get anything. I really had our lawyer to sent only part of the will because my husband had written 4 wills and all of them were put in bold letters that she was not to get anything and it also he wrote a very negtive comments about her. So I let her think that her dad loved her and her other half. But he true didn't like her other half and he was very hurt and mad at her.
Hi Boohead I'm sorry for your loss my wife died two wks ago on June 5 th 2015. We were together for 13 yrs married for almost 6 our anniversary is august 28 I just don't know how I'm going to make it
surfgirl So much of what you say and feel I can relate too, Like I have said to you before I do care about you though what good can I be. Most people scatter and you are left isolated, you lose you money and your home ( as did I ) It gets to the point of physical illness over it, I also feel nothing good will come out of my husbands death I hate when people say that, there is NOTHING bettter then being with my husband " ARE THEY KIDDING " they say things like when one door will close another will open " I will only be happy if my husband is on the other side of that door " I continue to think about you surfgirl and can relate to what you say, at least you are honest Bing123
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surfgirl LIke you I am a shattered person, I do admire those who more on to the " New Normal " my husband always knew I was not capable of that, I am like a spoilled child I just want him, The thing that drives me nuts is how I went to this point of my life not knowing about the pain the death of my husband would cause, I think we just do not think it would very happen, I review the days in the hospital, he was there for something treatable why did I not interceed quick enough I will always feel quilt about that because I am I trained Nurse, I feel I did not act quick enough and if I discover he would have servived at a different hospital or with a different set of doctors I will not forgive myself ever, nor will I forgive them for basically ending of life, because without him I am dead, I offen wonder how some people can start dating I do not judge them by any means, each to his or her own, I have a close ffriend who lost her husband and they were deeply in love, she is getting married in oct. I just do not see how they do it, I am happy for them becuase it is hard being alone also like me I have very limited funds and God knows where I will live after I lose my home, more power to them I guess. surfgirl you have alot of the same problems I have though yours appear worse in many ways, I hope you find the help you deserve becuase to SURELY deserve more help then anyone is giving you, I hope someone around you steps up to the plate and recognizes your needs for both goods and compassion. BIng123
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I am starting to reveiw my " Supports " alot of people just drop off the site, I wish those that leave for whatever reason would say good by maybe say how they are doing and maybe how the group helped them along the way Goes anyone agree ? Bing123
Hi Bing I feel the same as you I know I ll never feel the same since I lost my wife on June 5 th. We depended on each other now I have to figure out how to live again. I wish I could go to sleep and wake up , she would be here but it's not happening but we all need support it's very hard for me because it's still new
Wumbee May I ask how you lost your wife ? Was she sick ? Wumbee I miss my husband always, most the time it interfers with my work, I just can not accept the fact he is gone, I am sure you feel the same way, It is like someone just grabbed them out of our life and that is that, how terrible is that, I have said this many times but I will say it again, I never thought the loss of a partner husband / wife could hurt like this and I have been to many wakes and paid my respects to people and did not grasp the deep pain those folks had and will have, I believe the pain never ends at least it will not for me, people can say it will but I know my heart and my train of thoughts for me the loss of my husband is a death sentence, Yes I am alive but not living. I will navigate through whatever I need to, but happiness is not an option without my husband who's name is Richard . ****. Hon. Babe And Olie I wear his wedding ring on a necklace like I am an old lady going steady, I am proud to be his wife and always will be. God Bless You I am sure your wife was also a geart lady and loved you a great man. Bing123
Hi Bing well she had diabetes but nothing terminal she had went to the doctor the day before she died there was nothing out of the ordinary. She died in her sleep at a family members house because she felt like she couldn't drive home she was too tired so the morning of June 5 th part of me died. I haven't been back to work since that day but I know I have to because I need to survive. Everything is still so new I'm so scared of life without her