Been griving for my wife for almost 3 years now, does the pain ever go away???If so PLEASE tell me how to get rid of this pain in my heart! Any sugesstions will help, I don't know how to go on, don't even know who I am anymore. Just feel sad and lost all the time, day and night.
2 Hearts
Almost60man, I am so very sorry for your loss. I know that your wife will always be with you in your heart and soul, as she was a part of you. If you don't mind, I'd like to ask you a few questions;
- Do you have family and friends nearby and a strong support network?
- Do you work or volunteer?
- Do you have any pets?
Please keep sharing. I am here to help in any way that I can.
morning dennis
so u are having a rough time at the moment i know it hurts hon but we have to keep going, its what she wanted u to do b there for the kids and the dog.
hows the three positive things going or is that becoming harder to do?
lets get u moving again hon
as always
loving thoughts and positive vibes
D :)
You will be reminded of the things you shared in common everyday activities.This is hard to deal with and it may seem to go on for some time. You have to not let go but make new memories with the loved ones you have with you. It is good to incorporate the past with what you have going on now. If you work try and find others who have lost someone dear to them and see what they have done to make it. Try and find groups in the community, they will be able to bring ideas. If you have children allow them to make suggestions. You will pull through this and will be fine.
First time here.
Are you doing alright? If you need we are here to lend support.
newly widowed
welcome to support groups and grief,
when u are ready to talk we are here to listen hon
as always loving thoughts and positive vibes
D :)
Almost60man,
Welcome to supportgroups. My father just lost my mother, his soulmate of 50 years. All he knows is what they did together, where they went and her friends. His grief is unbearable. I've been trying to get him to "GET A LIFE". I know it sounds harsh but sitting in the house only going to church on Sundays and hitting the cemetary everyday is not a life. He thinks his life is over. I told him that if his life was over God would have taken him and not my mother. God still has plans for him and you too. You have so much to offer - it is when we give of ourselves that we truly receive. You are probably like my father who doesn't think he has anything to offer but you do. Like I told him he has a lifetime of experiences and a ton of love that someone out there needs to hear and it is his job to share. He has promised to volunteer starting January (he doesn't feel like he's going to make it through the holidays, so he won't do it now). So it's a start. Please give of yourself to others it will help you heal. We are here for you, please keep sharing. Hugs:)
Hi NewlyWidowedPhx, welcome to Support Groups. Please let us know how we can help you. We are here to support you in any way that we can.
Gosh, I don't even know where to start! On 12-20-02, I joined a grief support group when I very carefully typed in "widow" on the internet for the first time in my life. I had just lost my husband of 23 years and did not know how to deal with the pain. Through the months to follow, I met some wonderful people that were hurting just as bad as I. We even formed several individual groups that met for lunch in my local area, which helped the healing even more. During that time, I met a farmer that was hurting so badly - he had lost his wife of 39 years and was having such a hard time.
During the next year, we formed a friendship in the grief support group and finally met on 12-25-03. The healing continued and we eventually married on 4-1-05. The next 5 1/2 years were wonderful and I will never regret the time God gave us togther.
On November 5th, 2010, he went to sleep with a book on his chest, glasses on his head and the light on. I was out of town with his sister and when he did not answer the phone, I had his son check on him. I once again had lost the love of my life!
I have lost 2 wonderful men in 8 years and needless to say, my heart is broken. I am so angry that I don't know how to deal with my emotions. Why? We had everything going for us - I had just retired, we had just started traveling and thought we had the world by the tail. My heart cannot deal with this pain. Please pray for me and our 6 wonderful grandsons that have lost their Peepaw.
1 Heart
donna
oh my dear to have loved and lost two wonderful men must be causing u to ask all sorts of questions
its often anger that is the only emotion we have left to get us thru the days as we ignite in indignation to allow us to function and as u yourself say u have six wonderful grandsons to be there for,
the sorrow of a double loss somehow makes the continuing on a lonely prospect but u are needed to guide and participate in the grandsons lifes and the childrens of course especially those that only have u left now they have lost both parents, dont forget to take the time u need to nuture u during seeing to others who are allso bewildered and need you to guide them on this journey to the other side
keep posting/chattin hon
as always loving thoughts and positive vibes
D :)
Donna
I have lost my mother, the love of my life and my father in 4 months. My mother died of cancer in Sept, My ex dumped me after 8 and 1/2 years in November and my father was brutally beaten earlier this month and left on life support and was buried this week. I have severe anger issues right now that I'm desperately trying to deal with. But I do know this site is a great outlet with great people who are sincere and care. Keep posting, you don't have to feel alone. You will feel lost, you will feel pain, it will take time but you will find yourself and happiness again - just believe in yourself and keep posting whatever you feel whenever you need to talk. You are not alone as long as you keeping talking to family,loved ones and to this site. Take care, keep talking. Hugs
Love to you Donna. You have had a very rough time of it lately. There really isnt anything anyone can say to make things better. Just know there are people in your life that do love you and are deeply saddened by your situation. I lost my wife 4 years ago and I know she still exists in the spiritual realm. She made her presence known to me immediatly after her passing, I just didnt realize it at first. She has made her presence know several times since. I have been reading alot about near death experiences lately and they give me much hope as well. I understand the anger part. I will say the beating of your father really makes me angry as well. I am so sorry. As you already know, only time will make it better.
I know this time of year is especially hard for you. I have lost both parents 6wks apart, my daughter died when she was 8yrs old and my fiance' was killed in a accident 16mo.s ago. I have no family that lives close to me & my friends from work have their own families to take care of, so I don't like imposing on them.
I can tell you that yes it will get easier & the pain in your heart will also heal. If you try to force your healing it will take longer. Allow yourself to feel what you feel, then tell yourself "I'm going to get through this and I will find the strength to smile if even for a short time." I know it sounds simple & silly but it will help. Take time to laugh from a funny memory with her & try to focus on those, eventually you will find that your mind & heart are beginning to feel stronger....
healn heart
1 Heart
Healn Heart, thank you for your wonderful words and incredibly positive suggestions on how to deal with grief by allowing yourself to feel the sadness and pain, rather than forcing yourself to move on too quickly. You are a very strong person and I commend you greatly for being here and for being so supportive.
healin heart
u speak with compassion and love about how to survive it all, and for those with losses at this time of year its bitter sweet to know they can move on eventually
wishing u all the best
as always loving thoughts and positive vibes
D :)
I hope your Christmas is full of wonderful thoughts and lots of love...Merry Christmas
healn heart
healin heart
i wish u the same hon and yes its been better than i thought it would be
as always loving thoughts and positive vibes
D :)
So sorry! I don't think it will ever go away but I hear that it will become less severe in time! I don't know if this is true or not it's only been 4 months since I lost my husband but I pray it gets a little better for us both! Sending lots of comfort your way!
1 Heart
@Chels7787 I lost my hubby 4 months ago to date. Day time seems easier at times, but the sleepless nights are horrible. I hope this gets better