Done with Religion

Relationships Family Relationships
1

Hi, I'm 16 years old and I've been conflicted lately. As long as I've been alive, I've gone to church with my family, but I'm not so sure if I want to anymore.

This year, four of my friends told me that they were gay/bi and I completely support them. According to my Christian faith and my family, being homosexual is a complete choice and a sinful choice at that. I don't agree with this, and I don't know if I can continue to go to church each and every week when my values are completely different. The tricky part is telling my family. Either I can tell them now and go through living hell for the rest of my life or wait until I leave for college (after next year) and begin living hell then.

There are other reasons why I disagree with the Christian belief system, but I don't want to get into all of the details now. The bottom line is that I can't stand being at church anymore, and every time I go, it turns into a horrible experience.

I would like to hear from some parents, if possible. Even if you disagreed with your child's decisions, would you still want to hear them? Also, do you think that now is the time to confront my family?

Thanks :]

2

hi whentheboughbreaks hun, it just so happens that i,m a mom of a lesbian daughter who i love with all my heart and soul. i am also christian and right now due to my illness am unable to attend church. i am catholic. i would urge you to keep jesus in your life. i personally don't agree with the lifestyle and my daughter knows that but i love her and her friends and have no prejudiced against gay/bi whatever the case. i've often said to people that said homosexuality is a sin and i agree but so is lying cheating on and on and judge not lest you be judged. i love everyone does't matter sexual orientation, race, religion we are all gods kids. i would no sooner turn away from god as i would a liar or someone who is gay....we all fall short of the glory of god hun. i wanted to hear how my children felt about what ever it was whether i agreed or not. there is something called we can just agree to disagree. is there a reason in particular that you feel the need to "confront" your parents? is it possible to continue in your faith even if you don't agree will all the doctrine? as our children grow they grow into who they are not who we think they should be. most parents want whats best for their babies and we may not go about it the right way all the time, but we try our best. i hope something here will help you in your decision. my heart is particularly fond of young people as i know the struggles of your teen years been there (long time ago) until my illness i worked with at risk teens at the local high school and i loved it, volunteered every week for a support group to talk about what ever.....there was nothing that could'nt be talkedd about all topics open for discussion. i hope other here can give you more advise from their experience....please feel free honey to contact me if you have any questions or concerns i'll be happy to pass on my experience....if you'd be more comfortable you can alway send a private mail. i'm here if you need to talk hun

3

even reading the Christian bible, in any of its many translations and revisions, can leave you saying, "what?". In fact, there is NOTHING in the Bible specifically forbidding female/female love. Ask your Mom-the whole statement is about men. And, how can anyone believe God made us, and yet that sHe had no control over what feelings we have? And oh yeah-animals have same-gender relationships. It's actually natural-i.e., part of nature. Look that up in your Funk and Wagnalls, eh?

4

i think you should keep God In your life. it doesn't matter if your bi, or whatever your traits are. what matter the most is the good things you have done and how you are to other people. think of this, when time comes and you are able to face god i dont think he is going to ask you if "are you a gay, a *****?". so keep going to church. i think its just a trial in your life and in your faith. talk to your parents. i think its better to open up about how you feel.

5

I've been at this point too. The awful things that have happened in my life made me think, 'Where are you God? Don't you love me?'
I ignored everything to do with God. I still believed he exists, I just didn't know if I believed in him (but now I know that he believes in me). But I always kept praying, simply to say, 'I just can't talk to you now.', or 'I'm not ready yet.'

I go through phases of loving God and then ignoring him. This time in my life I am not spending time with God. And when that happens, I've noticed that those are the moments in life when I feel like I don't want to live anymore. I've gone through phases of belief about feminism, homosexuality, etc. I've even been addicted to porn and still struggle with it sometimes. But I've realized that no matter what I think, feel, or believe, I will always need Jesus - and he will always be there for me (even when it seems like he's not).

I'm not saying 'you have to believe' or anything like that. Your relationship with God is personal and so what you do is completely up to you. But that is just my point.

God loves you, your parents, family, and friends UNCONDITIONALLY. Which means, he loves you no matter what your sexual orientation is, your weight, your height, your appearance, your mistakes, your lies, your confusion, your misunderstandings, your thoughts, your opinions, your sins, and all that other stuff that human-beings judge you on. Because God knows you for YOU not the 'you' that other people see. We sometimes do things that God doesn't want for us, because has a plan for every individual on this earth. But he won't hold you against you or anyone else.

We all doubt at some point in our lives, and like me, some doubt him a lot.

But remember:

The Lord is your Shephard - he is there to guide you and love you. When we forget this and when we forget the sacrifice he made for us (his only son's death for all our sins - which has set us free for eternity) we eventually lose our sense of purpose and sense of importance.

Right now, I pray that you will find understanding, feel stable ground beneath your feet, and that no matter what it is you decide that God be with you always.

6

bubblegum/nessa beautifully put and i agree, church if you find the right one where you are comfortable can be an asset to living life...for me a life without god is not worth living. bless you guys

7

Thank to all of you that responded. I see where you're coming from and your points make sense. I don't think I'm ready to completely denounce God and Christianity right now, but I can say that I still don't know if God even exists. I see so much hypocrisy from my church and other believers in general that it makes me wonder how much of what is being taught is actually true.

Binturong13, I actually have looked that up in scripture. You're right. The only thing is that's not what my church teaches or what my family believes. In their opinions, homosexuality is one of the worst sins that one can commit. People that are openly homosexual are voluntary sinners and are going to hell. But I, on the other hand, believe the exact opposite. That's why I feel so conflicted.

Thanks again for your advice and support. I'll keep you posted...

8

Part of your conflict seems to be between what is religious ie a bunch of rules that don't make sense to you and you don't want to follow; what is Christian ie What would Jesus teach and what did Jesus do? and What does your Christian church believe?

Sometmes there are conflicts in the Christian church between what supposed church members do and what Jesus teaches. That's where we get 50% of the people in the church end up with a divorce. Or 50% of the men in the church are watching pornography and masturbating on the side. Maybe the wives are too. So without even talking about the whole homosexual questions we have a whole lot of church members who are living empty lives, without intimacy, not talking to their kids about healthy sex because they aren't having healthy sex and sharing deeply with their husband/wife. In other words there is a lot of hypocrisy in the church.

As a young person you have a perfect right to question, "Where can I find true intimacy?" With a same sex partner ? or opposite sex? Maybe things have occured in your friends lives or your life that cause you to think being gay should be ok, because it "feels right".

So then when the Church or your parents have certain strict rules that are hard to understand and your hormones are working overtime, it is all very confusing? Am I right?

But the bottom line is "What would Jesus do?" He gave his life for sinners like you and me and your parents and all the other folks in and out of the church. Jesus rose from the Dead on the Resurrection Day ... you usually see a bunch of colored eggs around that time.... so that we might really know how to live a wonderful intimate life the way God intended it.
Let's face it in the beginning God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve! There are many, many reasons 1 man and 1 woman married and faithful to each other for a lifetime brings the most sexual fulfillment! This is the truth and a well kept secret!

But our society wants to promote Anything and Everything but the way God created things to be done. I will pray for you to find wisdom and joy in doing things God's way. The Bible, His instruction manual will help you through these difficult days.

If I were you and wanted to talk to my parents about leaving the church as it relates to "sexuality" I would mention the divorce and pornography and lack of intimacy in marriages. Hopefully, your parents and pastors can answer some of these questions adequately. If not, at least they will know you are questioning how people carry out sexual fidelity and remain true to their Christian calling in a crazy mixed up world?

Good luck, and God bless you, Gini

9

ACTUALLY! You know what, I can't believe I didn't think of this. Get a SY ROGERS dvd. Now he had a messed up life! Amazing story, and he will tell you the true. I went to his relationship seminar a year ago. I cried so hard because I felt so broken by his deeply emotional journey.

His friends said to him, "it was Adam and Eve - not Adam and Steve" and you know how he replied?

Sy said, "You know what? Geez thanks, I so totally did not know that..." - he was completely sarcastic about it. Sy said, "all I needed was someone to accept me for, and later I personally made the choice to be straight."

So please look up SY ROGERS. Amazing man with an amazing story that you can relate to on almost every level and aspect of your life.

With much love and blessings,
Ness XOXO

10

I hope you see this before it is too late.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with discarding Christianity.
You have probably grown up insulated from the growing swell of secularism.
Atheism, or strong agnosticism is empowering, moral and has the benefit of not requiring mental contortions to fit the 21st century.

I applaud you for coming this far. the bible does indeed condemn homosexuality, in the same terms that it admonishes the faithful to refrain from eating shellfish.

"But all in the seas or in the rivers that do not have fins and scales, all that move in the water or any living thing which is in the water, they are an abomination to you." (Leviticus 11:10)

"They (shellfish) shall be an abomination to you; you shall not eat their flesh, but you shall regard their carcasses as an abomination." (Leviticus 11:11)

"Whatever in the water does not have fins or scales; that shall be an abomination to you." (Leviticus 11:12)

If you have ever eaten oysters or mussels, you have stepped out of the judeo christian system already.

You are not the problem. The barbaric iron and bronze age ramblings of dysfunctional monotheism are the problem.

Questioning religion is a sign of maturity and of a capable mind.

I would refer you to the following resources.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atheism for a brief look at terms.

http://richarddawkins.net/letters/converts for proof you are not alone.

http://www.youtube.com/user/richarddawkinsdotnet#p/u/3/eUB4j0n2UDU your very own baloney detection kit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iMmvu9eMrg The descent of god.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ImvlS8PLIo BANG!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wV_REEdvxo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNDZb0KtJDk Qualia Soup.

If you are one of the children that has been brought up creationist, then you really ought to check out AronRa:
http://www.youtube.com/user/AronRa#p/c/126AFB53A6F002CC/0/KnJX68ELbAY

My name is Taliesin Hoyle. [email protected]

Feel free to email me to let me know how you are doing.

11

I am a gay woman that was raised in the church. I don't go to a chuch building for that same reson. But I do have a very good relationship with God. You don't have to go to a church building to worship. I had to tell my mom that I just couldn't go to the church any more. She was upset for a will but she said I had to be true to myself.
I hope that this helps.

12

I am here, not to create havock, but to ask you something. You talk about the god, the bible.what it says...
But who is to say that the Abrahamic God is the correct God. Homosexuality is natural.. It happens in nature often. Have you considered looking at a different faith, so you can still have someone to lean on, but not feel judged?.

I read the bible from cover to cover when I was 16 in search of answers. And I followed blindly for years. Then I started doing research. I was appalled at some of the discrepancies I found.(I found a new with, but my faith does not promote going out and recruiting)

Whichever faith you choose, or even if you choose a faith, my suggestion is to do your homework,don't follow blindly, and go where you feel accepted.
I hope you find the answers you need, and feel accepted wherever you go.

Blessed Be
Kaleesie

13

I'm incredibly rolling my eyes.
Can't you let this girl make up her own mind without bombarding her with a religion based

on a book that was written based on educated guesses and political agendas?

And what about all those "hidden under lock and key" books the Vatican?
And did you know the word "witch" wasn't even in the first bible? It as "poisoner"

Let this person ake upER own mind.

14

And adam and Steve really? ?

You sound straight outofe 1980's where they houhtay people where the only 1 spreading HIV..
How ignorant!