Don't know how much longer I can last

I've been slowly declining these past few weeks. After my girlfriend had a traumatic experience (not for me to tell), she's been getting more and more distant from me. It started with her just talking to me less and less. Then it went to her saying she's breaking up with me, the next day she would hold me and we would say we love each other like the previous day never happened. We work at the same place and would get the same days off to spend time with each other, but when the day came, I would spend it sitting in my house waiting for a call which never came.

She just graduated from high school and today is her grad party (its happening now because getting pushed back from her experience). I called her last night and left a voice mail when I was leaving work saying that I needed directions for the grad party.

Things got really bad when I got home. I went on facebook and wanted to leave an "I love you" post for her in the morning. When I looked at her profile it said she was in a relationship with some other guy.

we talked it out some this morning through chat because she refused to talk to me on the phone. She said she felt really bad and said I was a great guy, and that she just met the other guy the other day. I told her that I still care about her and will wait.

I went on a little after that, hoping it was all just a dream, then I saw about 10 new photos of her and him.

I lost it at point. Telling myself that I should have seen this coming, that she was too good for me, thats why this happened. Saying that I was too stupid to actually think that someone would actually care about me.

I took a blade from a box cutter and cut myself once on the chest for everyday I was naive enough to think she actually cared.

Thats all I could manage to do. I was about to continue but I heard my parents car out side, so I threw on a shirt to go and help them with the groceries they just bought.

This is the first time I cut myself, I've had thought of it before, but this just set me off. I'm not sure what or when the next time its going to happen.

I'm scarred of what I might do.

Dear cellthepin39,
Please tell your parents what is going on in your mind.
You should not try and hide these thoughts and feelings you need family and friends to support you.
I am very worried about you and don't want you to hurt yourself. Please ask your parents to take you to a mental health professional. Depression can be treated and there is hope that you will feel good again.
Stay in touch....and please reach out to adults for help.