My daughter and I have had a rough relationship since she was young. She is now 30 yrs old and is suffering from RA. She posted on FB saying how her being stubborn was good for something. I responded by asking her what she meant. She said her RA has kept her up all night and she can barley move but she refuses to give into it (she has chosen not to take any medication). Being a concerned mom I just reminded her what her Nanny and her aunt went through and told her she is going to pay in the future for not doing anything now. She took offense to my post and started in on how she would rather hurt than die an early age like Nanny and her aunt. A friend of my daughter's posted below that and pretty much told me that my daughter was an adult and she has chosen to make her own decisions on her body and what happens to it and I should just be supportive of her decisions. I was totally blown away by her post and got defensive. I just told her I never once said I wouldn't be there and support my daughter. This went on for a while between her friend and myself. Her friend finally told me if I wanted to have a private conversation with my daughter that I should take it off FB. I then messaged her friend and told her that this was between my daughter and myself and that she needed to butt out.
A little later I got a call from my daughter and the first words out of her mouth were 'how dare you tell Mandy to butt out and what an awful mom I was and am and I thought of no one but myself. She went on to tell me I was the biggest hypocrite she knew and I needed to pray for myself. She told me that by my reminding her of her Nanny and aunt was the worst thing I could of done for her cuz she was trying to have a positive attitude toward this disease and I brought her down. She decided to remind me of everything I ever did wrong in my life and that she didn't look to me as a mother but more of a friend, how she had no respect for me and she loved me cuz I was her mom but she didn't like me.
I said a few things back to her and I so regret them. I love my daughter with all my heart. I honestly didn't think my post would upset her. I just wanted her to take care of herself. I'm not sure where our relationship is now, and she is so easily upset when I say anything to her that I don't know how to resolve this.