IS there anyone out there who struggles with an eating disorder but also struggles with other addictions as well? For me I'm starting to learn that my Ed is intertwined with other things as well. I tend to feel like I NEED things whether it be food, a smoke etc. Maybe I'm just trying too hard to figure myself out. But I was wondering if there are others who have used other addictions besides ed? Thanks.
I think there is definitely a connection between eating disorders and having an addictive personality type. Personally, I don't suffer from any other addictions, but I do have mild OCD, so the compulsory aspect is still there. Also, at the last treatment center I was at, there was an addictions group specifically for all the patients (there were many) who struggled with other addictions.
It's not uncommon for those who struggle with an ED to also struggle with some sort of addiction, either currently or in the past. The underlying need/desire to numb feelings and run away from the pain you are feeling can cause someone to seek out either path, looking for relief. Sometimes they coincide, and sometimes people go back and forth from one problem to another, seeking peace.
What we try to determine at the River Centre, is what problem is primary and needs to be addressed first? You can't tackle them all at once. Wishing you well...♥
Yes. I have that too. Its like I'm always looking from the outside to fix what's on the inside. I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, but I'm just starting treatment for Bulimia and trying to quit my other addictions. All I can say is that its really hard, but I know it will be worth it
I can definitely say yes from personal experience... drugs, alcohol, smoking, obsessive working out, stealing... most of those are in the past, but they definitely were all wrapped up in one ugly package for a numnber of years.
I've gotten much better as I've gotten older, although the b/p cycle is something that I can't seem to kick for good. Also, I still like to drink. If left alone, I can pretty much polish off a bottle of wine on my own a night. I try not to though - especially since my husband takes notice - but the tendency is there.
I also think I am a bit OCD. It would explain a lot!
So you're not alone. We're in this battle together.
And it's so nice to finally find a place to talk about it!!
Thank you all so much for responding. I honestly used to just have an Ed with depression but as the years goes on (and yes I've gotten help for my ED) ..I find I'm turning to smoking and I too can polish off a bottle of wine in one night if I'm alone. But I'll do all....I feel like I have to find something to numb out. I never had this problem before but I live in a place where there are a lot of drugs and I don't do drugs..the pot. And it's daily.first I thought it was helping me but now it's not helping ED at all. I know Ed was first..but I feel like now that I'm older I'm turning towards other things to do by. But b/p is something I don't know how to stop either. Let's all keep talking please!!!
I spent many years trying to numb out - high school, college, and beyond. I always managed to hang with the wrong crowds as well... like a magnet! And that includes boyfriends. I finally reached the point in my life that I just knew I wanted better for myself. I just knew I was worth MORE than that. For me though, I had to literally up and move far away to change my life. I luckily had that opportunity handed to me and I jumped on it. For me, I had to get away from all the old friends, boyfriends, and places associated with that lifestlye. I can happily say that I've been out of the drug scene for 10 years now.
I cannot happily say the same about b/p though, nor drinking. I guess I still have the underlying tendencies towards addiction. I notice that I tend to do both when I'm home after work. I don't know if it's boredom or the inability to relax or deal with the stresses outside the workplace, but that's when both strike me.
I can say that when I'm busy a home, I don't do either. So maybe you need to find a hobby to help keep busy. Is there something you've always wanted to learn or try? ...that's not harmful? If so, then try it, or research it. Spend time focusing on something positive that you would like, rather than adding more things to the list of what you don't like about yourself.
OH, and I've got a tip for you that someone shared with me recently. Next time you feel like you want to either smoke or binge, go brush your teeth. May sound silly, but it does surprisingly reduce the desire to do anything that would dirty your newly cleaned teeth! Try it and let me know if it works! :)
I've moved around North America so much due to ED! I would love to pick up and move..but I know hte grass isn't greener somewhere else. I would love a hobby, but I don't even know what I like! I should be focusing on school more but my mind is all over the place. Thanks for the tip!! I'll deff try it=) Thanks so much!!!
You're still in school? Can I ask what stage? I went back to school 5 years ago (which was nearly 10 years after graduating college) to do my Masters. Boy was that stressful!! I don't recall if I started purging during that time, if I already was, or if it started again afterwards. I'm gonna have to sit and think about that one. But I know it was one of the most stressful times of my life. I literally had a nervous breakdown at my computer one day while working on my dissertation. I was crying hysterically and my husband literally had to come into the office, pick me up and carry me to the couch!! I also failed Accounting the first time around and had to retake it. Now that was both stressful and embarassing! Do you feel overwhelmed with the workload? Could that be lending itself to your urges?
Also, do you have a family history of addiction? I do. On both sides of the family. A double whammy! It's no wonder I can drink like a fish, it's in the blood! ...which makes it harder to resist.
I don't know if I'm helping you at all. I'm VERY new to this. I just know that I feel what you're going through, and the frustration of trying to figure out why, and who knows, maybe we can help each other figure it out.
Stay positive and find the little things in life that make you smile. If you keep finding them, they mioght just build up enough to make you happy somewhere along the way!
-Elena
Yes I've been in and out of University for 7 years now and I'm probably in my third year right now. I deff get stressed out by school even though I'm in 2 classes. I have major anxiety test taking and I tend to b/p to cal down. It could be part of it for sure..school...yet I also feel that it's a good distraction. It gets me out of the apartment every day. But I have tests and essays coming up and I'm really anxious thinking about it.
As far as family....the only thing I know that runs in family is depression and OCD. So it's weird how I see to be the one with everything.
I'm really glad you're shairng. It's always nice to hear other ppls stories. I always try to figure the WHY out too. It' is frustrating.
I wish I knew what makes me smile. I feel I"m at a low right now and don't knwo how to get back up. Thanks so much Elena. I hope your'e doing well. Thanks for caring. Well I better get to class now and not miss the bus!!!!
Are there any support groups in your area? I wish I had one close to me, but I live abroad and the only group I've seen in the Enlish newspaper is for over eaters anonymous, and they're like a million miles away from me. I know in high school I went to group therapy. Maybe your school offers something like that? I actually did that all through middle school and high school (my mom divorded a lot and they thought it would effect me and so the school put me in. Little did they know how much they were helping me, and not because of the divorces!) Anyway, it's worth checking out.
And yeah, I find when I'm out of the house, I don't seem to have the b/p problem too often. There are cases where we'll go out to eat and I just splurge and feel so full it's gross and hit the toilet. But I tend to b/p more at home that outside. My limited budget might also be a factor there. Way to go me for finding a positive side to being poor! :)
As for the stress with your work load, what about a study group or tuttoring? That way you're out of the house, with people, getting help, and keeping busy.
And don't think you're the only one with everything. I thought that way for a long time, until I got older and started confiding little things in my family. Boy, did that open the door for a whole lot of information I never expected!! So, ever think it's all just you. Everyone has their closet of skeletons. We just have to work harder on keeping that **** door shut!
Big hug and strength coming your way!
-Elena
P.S. I decided to change my name today. Interacting with everyone here the past couple of days has made me feel like I don't have to be Bulemic4Life... and neither do you!
I do have ABA here (anorexics/ bulimics anonymous) here. I've been a couple of times last year but didn't like it much. It's also 12 step based which I don't like much. I might check it out again though because it really depends on the group who attends. Thanks for the suggestion.
Hey , I hear you on being poor. Stupid binge food just makes me poorer=( It's such a hard struggle with having this disorder and even going into debt because of it=(
I can get a tutor...but it would mean I have to wake up early (before 11am lol) and I honestly try to sleep in till as late as possible (until I have class or therapy etc). It's such a struggle for me to honestly get out of bed. I force myself because if I could I would sleep all day. I used to do that so I'm aware of it and doing my best to get up at least at a certain time and get dressed etc. So yeah..I know I make excuses but I could find a study group. I could stay pout of the house all day too though but even at 2am I will b/p=(
Ohh trust me Elena..I know everyone has their skeletons. trust me I'm way too aware of that fact.
I'm So glad you changed your name You one hundred percent don't have to be bulimic 4 life!!!!!!!!!!!!! I like the name ForsetChild=) HUGS!
i read through your messages and you sure got alot of feedback. i agree with u 100%. there is a correlation between other addictions and eating disorders. i have been clean for almost 7 months from d and a but just got out of the ed rehab. i went from one addiction to the other.
thanks for congradulating me on my clean time. i worked really hard. as far as the eating disorder is concened i am not ready to give that up yet. one addiction at a time.
Yes I definitely dd get a lot of great feed back from this group. I want to thank everyone for that=)
recovery 731....d you still struggle with ED? Are you in recovery? I'm just curious about your situatin on switching from one addiction to another....I just don't understand it=( Congrats on being sober for 7 months though!!!!! Keep on fighting!
Elena....I hope you'r ok. You are such a fighter and have given me some amazing feedback. Thank you. I"m so sorry if I come off negative. I just feel so overwhelmed sometimes and make excuses as to why I can't do things. Sorry.
HUGS EVERYONE!
I can tell you I deal with an ED (anorexia) plus depression, drug addiction (which I'm recovered from), PTSD and high anxiety levels. I am on 5 meds and I don't know which is worse...the illnesses or the cure:) But please know yuou are never alone. We will always be here for you to talk to and vent to. This support group is one of the best I've seen. So hang in there, work on your issues, and know you are sooo not alone..hugs..
i'm late the party, but wanted to chime in b/c i thought i was the ONLY person on the face of the planet that was using all these substances & ED addictions to numb the pain. i've struggled w/ some for of an ED since i was 15 (i'm now 40), and after my divorce 3 years ago, due to my ED, everything really started spiraling out of control. the more wrapped up in the ED i became, the more addicted i became to other things (mostly alcohol). at first i started this cycle of restricting all day and working out, so that i could eat sushi and down a bottle of wine each night. then, as the pounds began to creep up a little, i decided i would start binge exercising so that i could stil eat and drink at night. and, thus, this is what ultimately led my family to host a little mini-intervention on me, when they saw me rail thin at xmastime, drinking like a fish (and getting WASTED because i was starved) and b/p'ing. what started to scare me was #1, the only time i allowed myself to eat was when i drank (it was like i knew i could let me defenses down if i drank and that it was "okay" to eat then). i figured, hell, this is my REWARD for starving all day....just let me numb out completely and enjoy my RED wine w/ my food. and #2, i started to LIKE the feeling of drinking on an empty stomach and completely CHECKING out. each day i would wake up upset with myself, tell myself i wasn't drinking that night, but sure enough, around 2pm, i started to crave the drinking/eating episode, would go and work out for 2 hours to prep for it, then go to town at night.
i'm a LOT better since i know i'm getting help and my OP program begins next week. i know that i simply won't be on that cycle again, b/c they have forced meals and i certainly won't want to come home and drink on top of all those meals, due to added calories. what baffled me was, if i was such a good "anorexic" or "bulimic", what the hell was i DOING consuming all those alcohol calories????
i'm relieved to know i'm not the only one out there struggling w/ multiple addictions. but, i have to say, in my most shameful, humiliating and weakest moments, what helped me was the remind myself that EVERYTHING i was doing was a direct result of my issues with food, weight and body image. EVERYTHING!
i'm hoping after my OP program, i won't choose another unhealthy addiction and can learn how to do everything in BALANCE. let's face it though, MOST people struggle with this concept. we're all human afterall!
Definitely look into ABA again. It's worth going at least once to see if you're more comfortable with the crowd.
Can't you do tutoring after classes or maybe on the weekends? If you think it's worth looking into, maybe you start with one or two sessions a week and see how it goes. And I wouldn't look at it as a way to keep you out of the house, but rather to help you with your work load so that you're less stressed about it, and can vent off of other people who can both help you and understand the pressure themselves.
Stay strong and remember those baby steps. You too Recovery731!
Sending you hugs right back!
Unimportant...I too struggle with most of those issues and am on 2 meds for it. I'm still in it though. Was out of it for awhile, but feel like I"m slipping back. It is true..which is worse..the illness or the cure?
I almost feel comfortable in the illness as much as I hate it. But the cure is so scary. Does that make any sense?
PECsweets....thanks SO much for sharing your story. I can relate to all you said. I feel that I might be heading towards that path. I don't eat all day either and when I drink I feel it's ok to eat because I feel like a guard is being let down (as you said) but usually I end up b/p if I am alone. If I'm around ppl I'll just drink. And I too do it on an empty stomach which gets to you even faster. I don't drink daily put I do smoke pot daily. I find also when I don't eat all day it does help me to eat but lately it's been putting me into a b/p once my boyfriend is asleep. I worry about the calories in alcohol too, but I do like my wine at times. It just worries me when I want it after a very hard day u know? But smoking is a huge one. I feel like I NEED it too. I agree...everything I am doing is a direct result due to the ED and depression. It's all a way to cope. I've had ED for 13 years now and it can only serve so much as a numbing purpose till I turn to other things. I hope I make sense.
I'm glad you spoke up as well=) Please keep taling! It's nice to know I'm not alone, although I do feel your pain. I'm so glad to hear yo're going to OP! Good for you=) Keep fighting!!!
Foreestchild...yes I will look into ABA. My therapist also does an art therapy group for free once a month so I want to go to the next one. Its just for EDS too.
Good point on the tutoring. I do look at everythig now a days to keep me out of the house. it would be nice to get the extra help though. Thanks. I'll ask my advisor.
So lately I've been googling ways on my phone during class even to find ways to get high. I feel so stupid, yet it's this drive to numb out. How ridiculous is that??? UGH!!! Please keep fighting everyone! Love u all!!!
I have done all of these behaviors like saving calories, over exersizing, throwing up if I ate anything and I am still dealing with all of it. my weightis creeping up now and it is totally freaking me out. I so have body dysmorphia it is unreal. I wish I could be comfortable in my own skin. I also wish I could see myself through other peoples eyes. While I feel icky and gross looking b/c of some extra skin aaround my waist, others tell me I am rail thin. If anyone has any ideas about how to deal with these issues, I would sooo appreciate it!!