End of day 10....but

Well, it's the end of day 10 - I have neither binged nor purged. OH, well done me...aren't I doing SO well...well, no. It's not quite the case.

Yes, I've managed to break a habit which I realise is an achievement...I didn't think I could do this and I no longer feel the need to binge or purge...I feel stronger, healthier, happier etc.

I realised the other day that...well, I seem...very slightly...thinner. This is difficult for me to admit but.............................hurrgh, it's difficult to say. I'm restricting. I'm eating three times a day. I'm eating a good breakfast (cereal and milk............skimmed milk). For lunch... turkey and then....cereal and skimmed milk. For dinner, a tiny portion of something with....yep, you guessed it, cereal and skimmed milk.

Last night, I managed to eat a really good meal and even had some wholemeal bread with it but I felt so **** full. I'm walking to work and back more than once per day so I'm more active. Basically, I'm feeling better because I'm no longer binging or purging but I'm suffering from a sense of guilt because I feel completely powerless to allow myself to eat the amount of calories or fat that I should be. I don't know why but cereal is the only thing which I genuinely look forward to eating.

I'm proud but guilty. I'm on the new path but I need to take the next step now. I need to do myself a meal plan and stick to it for more than a day...I'm losing weight, not to mention that the swelling has reduced around my face from not purging. I don't want to go back to the UK and seem 'weak' - I want to go back as a healthy woman...or at the very least...becoming a healthy woman.

10 days, OMG, wow, i admire you so much!! i just look to the right and there is your post: the 48hour failure! remember? incredible.

and well done for realizing that maybe ED is sneaking in through the back door, by restricting.
do that meal plan, or at least aim at adding some foods to your intake. one of something a day, add some more after a week etc. don't go from 3x cereal to 5x proper meals and healthy snacks. take small step, plan what you know you can handle without the other ED voice jumping in again. you can do this honey!
if you do wanna go for the full meal plan, which would be great, let me know if you need help with it!

xxxxxxxxx

Oh yes...there it is on the right...the 48-hour failure - WOW, I'd almost forgotten that I just couldn't get past the 48 hours !!! Yes, there is quite a difference between 48 hours and 10 days...wow!

I think I will do better with adding a few extra things - this is a very good idea. I think that if I go straight into a full meal plan...the bulimia could return and I don't have the right treatment to handle that...I have to be very wise with my next steps now to not slip into another form of ED.

OK, so...I'll work on a meal plan now and add something to each of my meals...I think I'm going to try and replace lunch's cereal with a proper meal. The next step...it's to be very aware of ED in disguise...I've got to be one step ahead!

Thank you so much for this advice!

xxx

anytime honey! we gottastick together in this!
xx

Wow that's great! Don't stop and look back now, keep it up!

Don't feel powerless, feel powerFUL! Because by eating right you have the power to make yourself healthy again.

Although with poor eating habits you may have lost physical strength, do not ever think you are mentally weak. Ten days may not seem very much right now, but the days will continue to add on because you are so strong!

It's great to hear you're feeling better, you got this!