I know I'm in here somewhere,
Just dying to get out.
I wish I could escape this pain,
but my head is full of doubt.

Something takes a hold of me,
and destroys all my insides,
I want to just ignore it,
but from this I cannot hide.

It follows me everywhere,
no matter where I go,
and in every situation,
it makes me feel so low.

It tells me what to think,
what to eat, and what to do,
it takes away my self-esteem,
and believe nothing kind is true.

This evil fortress never leaves,
and I avoid it at all costs,
but every time I try to fight it,
all I ever feel is lost.

I hope some day that I'll be free,
to be who I want to be.
If only ed could really know,
the person I am supposed to be.

Amazing poem- its exactly how i feel too. I especially like the last line... "if only ed could really know, the person i am supposed to be."

I guess thats why we are in recovery. So we can destroy ed and find who we really are. <3


Katie, you've taken the words right out of my mouth...
Ed is a powerful **** but slowly I see us taking the power and shifting it so that WE are in control...don't believe me? I know someone who ate chocolate and cookies yesterday :)

Love ya!

aww thanks guys :) You guys have really helped me over the past few weeks! I really appreciate your support! We are all doing great......and we deserve to enjoy this Christmas :)

We all really do deserve to enjoy it. This disease as taken way too much away from ALL of us. Let's not let it take away this too.

I wish if just for tmrw to forget ed..if only

Me too.. either way he's still going to be there. All i'm going to be thinking of is how to beat ed.. or how it has taken over my life and how much i wish i could enjoy this time.. or how hungry i am... whatever it is he's still in my thoughts. Haunting me..

You girls can do it! You can fight it just for tomorrow.....try your hardest. I believe in you :) Eat, drink, and enjoy family. I am going to try my best to do it too

I'll be checkin up on you two, so you better be eating and enjoying tomorrow! :p

Yah, you too missy!! :)

You guys BOTH better be enjoying yourself today :) Eat, drink, and be merry! Remember, this holiday is about families and friends which ed has NO part in at all :) I am going to try and enjoy some egg nog....eeek!

You deserve that eggnog, make sure u sprinkle some cinnamon ontop!

Oh don’t worry…I enjoyed every drop of it! I added some fresh nutmeg on top! I enjoyed a great dinner with turkey, stuffing, a bun, and even a square for dessert :slight_smile: I tried my best and don’t feel too guilty either.

How are you doing today|

That makes me happy Katie. :)

I'm glad :)I hope your day is going ok too! How did the rest of your day go Maggie????

It was fine! Back in the hospital now though, **** ed! but it was nice to spend time with my bf. :)

Oh no!!! What happened???