This happened the last time. On the eighth day something triggers and I relapse. Today I ordered something new at lunch at work and I felt it wasn't healthy and was probably too big and then I had a few pieces of candy afterwards and then it was all over after that b/c I felt that I had already "failed for the day."
I'm going to pray tonight and ask for MORE help and also really think about the CONSEQUENCES of my behavior!! Just b/c I screw up (or think I screw up one meal) doesn't mean I should just give up the rest of the day.
Anyway, I'm trying not to beat myself up b/c 8 days w/o b/p is HUGE for me as I have been known to b/p MULTIPLE times EVERY day.
Thanks for continuing to listen and give me encouragement.
Caroline
Caroline,
These are still terrific steps you are taking here. Look back on yourself 2 months ago...where were you? You're in a much better place now and you should be proud of that! You've made such leaps and bounds for being someone who has struggled for this for 20 years!
What you need to work on now, is dealing with this relapse. Learning from the mistake and pushing forward the next day.
Know that challenging yourself can sometimes be a trigger, and just be more cautious of those times. Work through your emotions and tell yourself that binging and purging is not going to solve them. What always helped me after a couple of days of no b/p but getting the urge is "If I do this, I'm only going to make if more difficult tomorrow" because I know that once I b/p once, the next day I'll want to do it again and the urge will be stronger.
I also constantly told myself out loud "My body needs the nutrients I just gave it" and sometimes screamed "NO NO NO" to the ED.
So once the next 8th day comes up, don't be in the mindset that "I'm going to b/p today because I always do on the 8th day." Challenge yourself. See what if feels like to have 9 days without it! Perhaps on the 8th day keep it a bit "safer" as not to trigger yourself and be prepared for anything.
I know you can do it :)
Paige xoxo
You are so awesome Paige!! Thanks for this. I needed the encouragement. You are right. Will try to do better today. You are right about the urge being worse after a b/p. I know this all too well.
By reading your message I also thought of other positives about the 8 days... You also helped me recognize that in those 8 days I not only saved my body from that behavior, saved MONEY from waste (Lord only knows how much $$$$$ I've wasted), and felt generally better physically and my complexion.
Ok - Here's to a GOOD day today.
Cheers,
Caroline
Good Caroline! Think of the positives :) You DID save a lot of money this week and doesn't it feel good when you're body isn't constantly uncomfortable and in pain?
So glad to help and keep fighting!!
Paige xoxo