Everyone tells me I'm in an abusive relationship, but the th

Everyone tells me I'm in an abusive relationship, but the thing is he just doesn't understand. (He has Asperger's and I have Borderline Personality Disorder. Not exactly a match made in heaven?) I'm a bleeding heart nurturer who needs to be needed. He's been on his own his entire life and doesn't know how to be needed or to need. He doesn't understand how to interact with the people. He does the sweetest things for me. He takes care of me. I know he loves me. But sometimes he.. "cuts me to the quick" whether through words or actions. I've spent many a day and night crying. People tell me to leave him, but I know this relationship is worth struggling through the sludge. We come up on 7 years next month. I have my own struggles and strife. I don't know what to do. It seems I spend all my time distressed. He "just doesn't want to be alive anymore." and I'm so f*cking scared of what the future holds. I'm looking for advice/relatability from both sides of the fence. Feel free to share my post with your significant other if only to give me more insight.

1 Heart

I don't have either condition, but have known both. how well to each of you understand the other's struggles? you have made it 7 years, and that means something. plenty of couples without wither condition or any conditions at all don't make it 7 years. and so, to me, that means something

1 Heart

@norseduncan The thing is, I was in school to be a special education teacher, so I have book and interactive experience with his disorder. I’ve seen my fair share of Autism and high functioning Autism, aka Asperger’s. I know things the average layman doesn’t understand. I understand him. He’s only ever wanted the best for me. He wants me to stand up for myself, to break away from my abusive family. And believe me, he is telling the truth…

I’ve been a liar and an addict for years. I’m only now getting sober and committing to life, my relationship, and him. He’s cheated on me once because of this; because I wasn’t “here”. I forgave him, but it still hurts my heart to remember. It catches my breath. What if it happens again? I don’t know.

He gave me the ultimatum last month, the drugs or him. I chose him. Now I’m a neurotic, chaotic, h*ella mess. But I choose him. Dealing with his emotions is so hard because I’ve been burying mine for so long, including burying emotions others feel for me. I’ve been through pills, booze, eating disorders, more pills, more booze. And so on. This time it was pills… And like I said, I choose him.

You’re right, seven years has to count for something. He’s stuck with me through thick and thin. And I have stuck with him… I don’t know. I guess we’ll see what the future holds.