I can't sleep. All I can think about is food, and how hungry I am. I've hardly eaten all day, and when I attempted to eat, I freaked out and threw it away. I don't know what to do with myself. And now I'm afraid that if I eat, it will lead to a binge then purge, and the circle begins. I hate that this is going on. I don't even know what to do about it. I can't bring myself to tell people around me. I can't admit that I've failed to them. I can't get help again. I have no options. I just want to sleep.
Hello,
I have bulimia and anorexia as well. It takes time to get over but, you need to get help for it if you dont want it to control your life. I dont know why Im talking because Ive not gotten help either yet but, I hope to someday. I wish you the best. You are doing as good as you can. Trust me, its a good step to ask for help on this site because many people on this site are struggling with anorexia and/or bulimia too and it helps to have support. I know how depressing the thought of food can be. But, your body is like a car. Food is the fuel for your body. Im here for you. Take care and write back when you want.
Sasha
Hi Kikki
I am sorry that the thoughts were stopping you from sleeping. I think the hardest thing about ED is admiitting to yourself that you have a problem... you seem to have done this. The next hardest thing is telling someone else. It can seem daunting, but no-one will think you are a failure and you will feel such relief knowing that you do not have to hide things from them. Knowing someone else knows can often help as you do not feel so tense and wanting to hide everything. ED holds on to the secretive side of it. The more you keep it to yourself the more control it has of you. Take back the control and confide in someone that you trust. I know it is hard, I have done it, many times. Each time that I have told someone that I have slipped, they have always been supportive. You are not a failure!! You can beat this, I know you can and I believe in you.
Please take care and let me know how you are getting on
Lace xx
dear wifey.
sending mucho love your way.
remember the tools you learned.
what about skyping with someone ((perhaps moi??)) during meals?? thats good for distraction.... ((and its always nicer to have company)).
or doing an activity- maybe coloring, or making a vision board??
i think it would be helpful if you told someone around you whats going on so that they can help.
i love you!! i believe in you!!
remember- im only a phone call away!!
you are strong. you can beat this!!
Roo