Family Help

I am a mom of three. My oldest daughter has an eating disorder - wondering if anyone has any advice for me in helping her. She is currently in therapy and see's a nutritionist every week. She has not been admitted for in-patient treatment yet, and hope to not have to admit her, as it would have to be out of state. She seemed to be doing ok and just took another nose dive. I'm worried that in order for us to keep her alive, it's going to kill the relationship I have with her. I also worry about my other two kids and myself. How did everyone else make it through this without totally losing themselves?

Hi momD...your situation has to be incredibly difficult. You are doing about all that you can by making it possible for her to get professional help. This is critical! An eating disorder can be confusing and horrifying for everyone involved, and as a parent, I'm certain that you actually hurt for your daughter, yet also have many mixed emotions of your own.
I think the best thing you can do is to make sure she knows that you are there for her, and that you are available to listen. Ask her what she needs, and how you can help. Don't assume you know what she wants or needs.
Are you going to therapy with her? You didn't say if she is an adult, but that could change things as well. There may come a point where you have to set limits on some things, such as making her accountable for her recovery by putting consequences into place. This is only helpful once she is actually able to follow the suggestions of her therapist. If you are able to talk to her therapist, ask her/him how you can best help, or if you even can at this point. And above all, take care of yourself. Set a good example for your daughter in terms of feeding yourself, not talking about disliking your body or weight, and being open with your feelings. It's OK to let her know that watching her illness is hard for you.
I hope your daughter does well, and find full recovery!!
Take care...Jan ♥