Right now I can go either way. Either down right depressed to where I need to go to the hospital or somehow get myself turned around to relax and feel better, but I dont know how to do that right now. My anxiety is so high. My 3 year old is really not helping it at the moment screaming and I am trying to step away from her right now. My head is starting to pound cause of trying not to bust out in tears and trying not to scream. I have been feeling like this for a couple days now, well not this bad but it seems to be building. My mind has been thinking toomuch at everything in my life right now. My friend is going through some relationship issues so now I am thinking about my own. I keep thinking if I am really happy with where I am at right now. I look at everything and wonder why arent I happy? What is wrong with me? Why do I nag on my man for about the stupidest little thing? He seems to be taking care of me and my daughter really well. Why do I feel so lonely that I feel at times people dont seem to really notice me. Why do I feel the need to be around someone all the time to feel safe and fully happy? I know people really do care about me and love me but why do I feel like no one does? Why do I feel like I am always gonna get hurt some way somehow? Why do I feel like I am not a good person and a good mother? Why do I always feel like I am doing something wrong? Why am I still hurting about the past? I just want to sleep forever and not think anymore with my crazy mind.
Hi Faith, I understand all too well what it's like to have anxiety overcome you and your thoughts continually racing through your mind, and negativity building up to the point of wanting to scream. It's also where anything and everything agitates you. I totally and completely get it. The key is to really take a very big step back and to assess all that's been bothering you; make a big list if you need to, until you get to the root cause. I promise that there is a root cause to all of this and all else has been building on top of it. Then, you can start working through it step by step. Have you ever talked to a therapist? Is there something in your past that could be creeping up and causing this, because I noticed that you posted this in PTSD?
Please know that I am here for you and here to help you through this.
Yes actually I have had alot of past things creeping up. Something happened with a friend of mine that brought up alot of past issues that happened to me when I was younger. That is what was the root of what was causing the depression and stress. I never realized how much anger and pain I still have built up. Still have alot of it work through.
I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder and there are times
when I just want to sleep and not think anymore, or to be just sedated
on something where I just don't feel anymore. I have also felt on several
occasions that I was going crazy and losing my mind. It's very hard to
deal with, and I have been having more bad days than good. Like you,
I think at times why aren't I happy...I have a husband that works hard for
me, I don't work, have a car, Internet, and satellite, but I still feel overwhelmed.
I have been dealing with this since I was in my early twenties, and usually
meds help, but it seems like this time is the worst, and I am having a hard
time shaking this, and finding the right meds to help me.
You mentioned having a 2 year old and they were screaming, and yes,
it's good to just walk away, breathe, try to get a handle of it.
You are NOT alone, that's why we are all here...
Faith, what are you doing to help yourself through this; are you seeking therapy? I think that it'll be very helpful for you to get out all of your suppressed emotions in a way that is comfortable for you. Feel free to share anything that you feel comfortable sharing with us.
Faith08,
Are you seeing a therapist? It seems you could use some one on one with a good therapist and possibly need to have some medication to help you through this. You have everything to live for, wonderful kids and a wonderful husband. Seek counsel and find some help in dealing with your issues. Don't wait another day.
Best Wishes,
akhenaten
I understand where you are coming from, I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old. The 4 year old doesnt listen and is constantly misbehaving and the 1 year old is always upset, needy and screaming. It takes a toll on me, I also look around and wonder why I am not happy. & seem to want to relive my past because I was happier than. My GYNO has said that I suffer from a late onset of PPD, maybe talk to your Dr about it, maybe thats what it is. I was told people can have it for years and never really even know it and one day it just snaps out. Maybe you can be prescribed an "as needed" type of medicine that will help to relax you.
Well thanks everyone who responded and care and gave advice. I actually just got of the mental health hospital today. Was there since Wednesday. I am glad I did go. Started on a new medication which we will wee how that goes and got to talk with therapists which really helped. I guess I just really needed a push back up. It gave me time to take some time away from reality and think things over. So what I am gonna do now to help myself is first get a psychiatrist and get back into therapy. Also find maybe something with Volunteering since I cant just go get a job cause being on SSI and I have never actually ever had a real job. I think that would give me something to do and meet new people. I do feel alot better.
Faith, thank you so much for the update. I am so happy for you and so proud of you for being so strong and getting the help that you needed. As well, you are moving forward on such a positive path in continuing therapy and creating purpose for yourself with volunteering. I think that you are an amazing person and I know that you are onto a beautiful and bright future. Please keep sharing with us and let us know how things are progressing for you.
I know this is kind of silly advice, but I was in a bad mood and my friend showed me Whitney Cummings stand up "Money Shot." I don't know if you've seen her stand up, but she makes fun of relationships and dating. Sometimes putting on a smile for a few minutes can help. Remember you're a strong person.