I get quite depressed and anxious which leads me to belive I must act NOW and thoughts of suicide form in my brain. I try to reach out to what remaining friends and family I have and they are all so busy or short with me. People who know I've had a previous attempt... My own MOTHER... How am I suppossed to feel like anyone gives a sh/+ about my life if they don't have time or energy for me? I want to OD so they can be like "oh I guess she really WAS hurting." I see a therapist but should prob go more than once a wk. If I get committed to a psych ward, I'll miss work and it took me 3-4 months to find this part time job. So I tread water when some days I'd rather drown. Maybe I'll try a support group tonight. Very little energy.
Hi See it in your eyes,
I've been where you are. If I fell asleep and didn't wake up, that was okay. I found that once you think of suicide, it pops into your mind easier every time you're stressed and depressed. If you'd go to the therapist more frequently, I'm sure you could stay out of the hospital. Overdosing to "punish" others doesn't work because then you wouldn't be around to see how they react. Keep reminding yourself of this so it's less tempting. Remeron gave me my spark back. I quit it after 3 months because of swelling and weight gain but the spark remained and I tried different meds and am doing well. It takes time. You didn't mention what your faith is or if you attend a church. Force yourself to go to positive environments, smile even if you don't feel like it, and you'll be surprised how it affects you. They did a study about smiling. The act of smiling releases our natural "feel good" chemicals called endorphins. Do things that used to make you happy, e.g. a stroll enjoying nature. God put you on earth for a reason. Don't throw away one of his beautiful creations. Will pray for you to find inner strength. When you talk to your friends or family, try not to talk about your suicidal ideas. When people feel helpless to help another person, sometimes they shut down and that may be what's happening. Hugs sent your way!
Brenda
Hey there,
I know you're feeling really down right now, we've all had that feeling. I too have had thoughts of suicide, and asked myself, "if I died, would anyone reallllly miss me?" You really shouldn't give up, life is hard. But there's a reason it has to be this hard, something good will come from this which makes this crappy journey worthwhile. I'm sure you feel neglected at times, but people do care about you. You should consider that other's have a lot going on in their lives too, you shouldn't take it personal. You must find joy within yourself, you must be able to be happy on your own. Relying on others will only leave you sad and disappointed. Having other people making us happy needs to be a bonus. I'm hoping you can change your mindset just a little and see that there are so many wonderful things about life, and whether you believe it or not, you are important. Nothing around you would be the same if you didn't exist.
Do you work? Have any hobbies? Pets? What do you spend most of your time doing?
Hang in there and keep me posted.
xo, July
Hey :)
I just want to let you know that people do appreciate you in this world. Just think of all the things that you are contributed and how the world would be different if you were not here. You would truly be missed. Support groups are a wonderful way to express your feelings because you get support from people that know what you are going through. Going to a therapist more than once a week would also be great. But even if you can't just remind yourself of the positive things every day.
<3
See it, we love you babygirl & sometimes moms get overwhelmed & cant be everything to everyone when they really need us the most, but some of us try harder & thats why we're here to talk with & listen to you.
Love April
hope you know you have people here that have gone through or are going through the same thing, it is harder for someone without our problems to understand , so they just turn off a switch inside and dont have to deal with it,because they have heard enough and cant take any more
it defensive behavior , parents and family could do some research about our problems but usually dont because it is easier to not deal with. Your best support will be fron a counselor and a support group trust me , I've been right where you are today just a week ago. thanks for sharing your feelings with us , keep your chin up ok
dear friend, you are never alone. God is there with you always. Please, have faith and I will pray for you every day
See it in your eyes, your family and friends love and care for you very much, though I am sorry that it's coming across differently at the moment. Please fixate and focus on all of the positive that you have in your life and what a bright and beautiful future that you have. I know that this will pass. Seeing your therapist more than once per week for now is a great idea. This will definitely give you the outlet and support that you need right now. And, please keep sharing with us here; we are here to support and help you in any way that we can. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
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