Having an overwhelming moment. Starting a new program next week. Sad over losing someone important to me. My baby girl (my dog) is getting worse and worse with her cancer so she won't be around much longer. Life in general right this exact moment is weighing on me a bit. It'll pass I'm sure but it sure hurts going thru it at the time.
Hi Dlphs99, I am so sorry for how you are feeling, though I am so happy to hear that you are starting a new program next week. Please stay on this positive path, I know that you will get through this and come out so much stronger on the other end of it. You and your sweet baby girl are in my thoughts and prayers.
Thank you so much for the kind words. I know I'll come out of everything much stronger too. It's just the pain we feel getting there that can be overwhelming. It's bad enough I got myself into a bit of trouble needing to start a new program but getting ready to lose my dog is enough to set me over the edge and losing someone I came to love very much not ever wanting to speak to me again is A LOT on my heart. I was so tempted to go out tonight and drink myself into another mess but I didn't. Came home straight from work instead.
Honey you dont want her to be in pain, I lost my dog to cancer in '05, she was 14 so when the time comes think of her this way:
If our pets could speak to us.
Grieve not, nor speak of me with tears, but laugh and talk of me as if I were beside you. I loved you so...'twas Heaven here with you.
Author:
Isla Richardson
Big (((HUG)))
April
ah d hun, my heart is breaking for you. i love my fur kids. a babys illness and loss is so traumatic. aprils post is beautiful, brought me to tears.
oh by the way kudos hun for making the right choice last. nothing a drunk won't make worse.
Hi Dlphs99, how are you doing and feeling now? Just checking in. Hope all is well.
Hi puppydoglvr,
Thanks so much for checking in! I'm doing ok. Feeling A LOT of sadness due to two big losses this week but I'm hanging in the best I can. I'm kind of use to only allowing myself to break down very minimumly in a day but I've said the hell with that rule and if I need to cry I'm letting myself cry!!! I'm hurt and I'm sad so why should I feel I need to hold it together all the time?? Hell holding in any painful feelings/thoughts is probably what got me into trouble in the first place. Monday I'm starting a new program which I'm looking forward to. It'll be good for me and will help (hopefully) take my mind off a few things.
I hope all is well with you too!
i know how you feel, i had to put down 2 labradors this year. it sucks i know for sure. All you can do is remember the good times. If her pain gets worse be a friend and let her go I KNOW IT'S HARD. But for me was worse seeing them in pain.
And the sad will go away i promise. It's always hard to loose family (that's what i consider them). So think of the good times, it's the best medicine.
Have a great weekend an i'm sorry for your lose, it's ok to cry i did.
Hello Diphs99; Just reading your discussions and my heart goes out to you. Nothing anyone says can take pain and sadness away but somehow know that we are "here" helps ease that overwhelming feeling. I believe that allowing yourself to feel and cry when you want or need to is wonderfully healthy. Take care of yourself and know that we are here for you...
Diphs99 - So sorry to hear about your losses. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I also have had three losses this year and am recently off of pain medication and it has not been easy by any means....but I have gained so much support through this site.
What program are you starting (sorry if I missed that)? I see that you are in the Drug and Alcohol support groups and just wondering if I can give you add'l support based on my experiences.
Cry, cry, cry if it helps and if you need to! I agree, you should not hold back. It is healthy to cry and not to hold it in. I wish I could give you a big hug too!
HUGS!
Jess
Thank you Michael and Jess for the kind words of support.
Jess- I'm starting an intensive outpatient program for alcohol. I'm in the drug support group b/c I use to be on cocaine but off of that since August 9, 2004. But I still have urges so it's nice to be on here and meet other people dealing with the same struggles. As far as drinking...I'm not a daily drinker but I am once I start I don't stop drinker. I'd go off into binges and turn into a total asshole to those around me. My family has several alcoholics in it so I figure I need to nip this before it gets any worse.
Disphs99 - congrats on being off cocaine since 2004 and for starting your outpatient program! Let us know how you are doing. I am not familiar with how those programs work, however, I may go to a 12 step program myself. I am 28 days off pain medicine and although I am not going to use, I am scared of the addiction.
Keep us posted.
Hugs!
Jess
so d gf...how goes everything? have'nt heard from ya and just checking?
Dlphs99, how are you doing and feeling today? Just checking in.
I'm doing pretty well for the most part. I was in MN yesterday for a job interview so I didn't have time to hop on here. Today I'm just tired!! Flight was delayed and I wasn't about to sit in that airport til wee hours of the morning so I took a cab to a hotel and left this morning.
I have my second session tonight with the new program and as tired as I am and would love to skip it I won't. I'd rather snooze but I just started this program I don't need to be bailing already.
hey d gf i haave to add my very low key high 5 ....you'll have to fill us in when your up to it. proud of ya for getting the butt there anyway...love and kisses
Dlphs99, I think that it's so great that you are going to power through and go to your second meeting. That's fantastic! As tired as you are, I know that it will be so good and fulfilling for you. Let us know how it goes.