Feeling that awful heavy feeling of not wanting to get up? To just stay in bed? Worthless? Hopeless? Fatigued? All you want to do is shut out the light, because you can't see a light in your life.
Don't ignore that feeling. Don't try to distract yourself through watching TV, or reacting to your ED (if you are unfortunate enough to have one). But get in there, feel that feeling? What is it? It's low? It's dark? It's painful? Nobody understands it?
You get in there and feel that pain, make it bigger, imagine it getting bigger inside...this is not an easy thing to experience, unfortunatelty this exercise is probably going to make you feel like absolute ****. You're probably going to cry your heart out.
But here's the thing...depression doesn't stay forever. Even in those moments of pure hopelessness we get one glimmer of light be it when we were reading, or when we went to feed our pets, or when we brushed our teeth. It may not feel like an awakening...but it is a point where depression went away. And if you keep working with and through your depression...those moments will lengthen...and you will become stronger.
A day with depression, need not be a bad day...just try and work with the mood that you've got and don't ignore it. The more you work with it, the more you lessen it's impact.
And for all those suffering from depression who are not getting professional help, I ask you to please get help. You deserve it. You deserve a full and bright life. It is a tough journey but it is worth it.
You are not worthless, you are not hopeless...but those are your feelings and we must work through those feelings to come out to the light.
I think allowing myself to actually feel it is a big problem. I find so much that im constantly trying to fight it to hide it so i dont cause other people around me to feel it.. mostly my children.
As a child i learn the process of hiding it at a very young age.. grew up in a family that it was not ok to express your self or to cry. Step father was retired military and his thinking was one must always stay tough and crying was a sign of weakness along with him telling me if i told anyone about the abuse they wouldnt believe me anyway so there was no point in trying to allow myself to acknowledge those feelings of depression.
Today i know im very depressed to much stress going on and feeling sick. Would love to just crawl under the blankets and block the world out and really that was the plan for the day since the kids all off to school now but i think im going to work on allowing myself to feel this today and work threw it and catch those moments when theres a glimmer of light. Thanks
I completely understand that. It’s all I do is hide it and fake my way through the days. I pretend nothing has happened and everything is fine and smile and make people laugh and they think I’m optimistic and happy and I’m NOT and I can’t take it. But if I walked around crying all day I’d have no friends because most people don’t understand depression unless they’ve been there and they don’t usually go make friends with people that look unhappy, they hang out with happy fun people. Soo I guess in a way faking it allows you to have more social contact. Plus not everyone is very supportive and many people are critical so it’s really not that great to let everyone in. I don’t really know what to do. I’m lost. Sometimes I’m happy when I spend time with my nephews. Kids are funny and sometimes trying to entertain them and play with them can make you happy. Maybe try doing some activities with the kids (in which you’re also involved…not just take them somewhere and have them do soemthing while you sit bored) and maybe the engagement in an activity will cheer you up, and their happy little faces will make you smile. =)
Oh need2escape,
I am so glad that you are taking the advice. Because it is good to go with it. Depression is an emotion and like all emotions we must work with and through it...allow it to overcome us, instead of fighting it. Unfortuatley depression can be such an overwhelming emotion...so instead of going against the grain go with allow you to feel your feelings and really get in there...allow yourself to feel sad, and cry and get that all out, because that is what you need. That is what you're body is holding right now, and it needs to come out.
i too was brought up to believe that crying was a sign of weakness, but crying is a natural sign of emotion....wouldn't it be silly if we said laughing was a sign of weakness? We are not robots. We work out of feelings, not out of thought.
And when you are feeling really down just remember this too shall pass.
I hope you have a good day, hun. And remember there is no right or wrong feeling so long as you accept them as they come.
you're going straight for it,honey, aren't you?? i like it :-)
it's difficult to know when to let those sad and down feelings just happen and when to try to get out of them. when should i just stay in and feel miserable and when do i need to do something about it? so much confusion on top of everything else....
Hey Maedi,
I think there is no other way out of depression other than to go through that horrible tunnel, we all try to avoid, we try to avoid it, and go around it, we even try to park outside for a while. but there is another side to that tunnel it's just that we know by going deep in there we're probably going to feel feelings that are really hard. And nobody wants to feel bad, that's the thing.
This morning I cried and cried and cried, until I gave myself a headache. Then I wrote a letter to my ex. Then I got up for a wee while and helped my mam put up the decorations. I didn't try to fake a smile, or anything I just did what i had to do, and if I had to leave the room cos i needed to cry more than that's ok too.
We bring our emotions wherever we go, we can't run from them, so just allow them to go through. Although I feel a little tired, I also feel a little lighter....and I'm glad of that.
I hope you are having a good day sweetie.
Love to you hun
Moongal x
cherish that lightness, moongal! it'll only get bigger. the more bad emotions you can let go, the more you learn to handle them, the lighter and brighter your heart will be!
Thanks Maedi,
Although I know there is more tears to come, I have decided to surrender to them, instead of the ED, if I let my guard down to my own emotional wreck, hopefully I'm get through in tact.
You can do this sweetie, you can face your demons head on and not flinch...i know you can.
Thanks sweetie,
Someday I feel so strong even if I am crying my eyes out, and I'm like I can do this and other days I'm just like I can't, and the ED gets in there first. But no I won't do this to myself, I can't it's not fair...I have to stop doing this.
I want 2011 to be a great year for me, ya know and I know I'll stumble but I want to be able to catch myself when I fall. You can work through your pain too sweetie, I know you can.
I've been feeling super depressed over the past two years. It's been getting better, but one year ago it had gotten to the point where I felt there was no point in going on. I have found that taking my Zoloft religiously has been very helpful. I fully understand that not wanting to get out of bed feeling.
Hey Heathecliffe,
I am so sorry for your depression. And I am so glad you found anti-depressants that work for you. And yes taking them religiously really helps.
So you understand how important it is not to ignore that, get help or if you having a depressing episode do not give yourself a hard time, because it will pass. And that can be so hard to do, it can be such an overwhelming time.
Can I ask are you going to therapy, sometimes talking to someone who is a professional really helps, I know mine has opened my mind in ways i could never have imagined.
Keep talking sweetie, we are here for you
Love to you
Moongal x
Thank you, Moongal. Depression is so hard because it's easy to believe it's a character flaw and not a chemical or physical thing going on in our brains. It's also hard to believe things will ever get better when you're in that low place.
I saw a psychotherapist for about a year, and then a hypnotherapist for about a year. I stopped going for financial reasons about a year ago. The hypnotherapy helped more than the talk therapy, for me, but ultimately the antidepressants, taken every day, for a couple of months really helped.
I'm glad I found this site so I can talk about what's going on with me. I don't like to talk to my friends about it because I'm afraid of driving them away. My friends have also been a huge help over the past few years. I've always suffered from a low grade depression, since junior high school. It was only fairly recently that I was able to get some help with it.
I'm generally in good spirits, but I have a tendancy to obsess over the fact that I am single and hopeless about it. Every now and then something triggers my sadness over this and I go into a depressed/angry state for a while. It's a hard topic to avoid when everyone around me seems to be getting married, and there are reminders everywhere I look about sex, and relationships, and love and all that. I can't even find a date!
Thats very true Moongal, I think running at the problem with full force and dealing with it, is a lot better than hiding from it. I know its a hard thing to do but at the end of the day you will feel a lot better about yourself when you conquered it! :)
I like what u say. Even in a depressing day there's always a glimmer of light.
I'm depressive, I've been getting help with three different doctors but the only who has been able to somehow help me is the last one. I have many issues going. I've lost all confidence and become very shy so having those issues and others make my life a living hell.
I have good moments everyday but I think depression always kicks in and ruins the day or part of it. When I get busy I kinda get to deal with these feelings. Keeping oneself busy helps greatly.
I see a DR once a month for meds....they don't work like they used to. I, too am in bed today. Could not get out of bed yestereay either. Have nowhere to go. No money to spend. I do make myself attend aa /na mtgs during the wk, they are close by and it helps make the day pass. I would have jumped off a bridge many times over this year, but due to my g.kids, I stay. I don't know why, cause there lives are very fullll every day. they know I love them. My friends: well, one is far away most of the time. One is using, can't go there. One is from the church, whom does not like smoking , yes I smoke, lay in the bed. My husband got the chruch, God in the divorce with his G/F. Yeah, life sucks. I am to be out of this house Jan.5th. Where to go? I don't know yet. He has barley given me money to live on. YET he has two house, new truck, house on the lake, mega cash, It is alll his. EVEN though HE wanted the divorce cause he wanted Others, I lost it all. He moved on 2 yrs ago, not me. I was still waiting for the miracle! Ha. Thus, at 54 starting over again , no it is not easy. Do i even have the energy or want to ? not really. If onlys are lonley, like IF ONLY I had gotten a better attoreny. THE what ifs are not gonna happen. Well, I willbe safe in my self imposed prison for at least six more hours, then I hope to sleep & hope to not wake up. But, I always do :(
Hey Just42Day,
I am terribly sorry you are feeling this way. I can't say I completely understand you situation as I have never been married. But I understand that heavy load of depression, and how powerful it is. Do you think you would be able to get out of bed maybe tomorrow, maybe go for a little walk. Walking really helps, just taking in the air it really helps to clear the head. I know you feel like you have nothing but you really do.
Have you told your children how bad things have gotten for you? Do you think you would be able to? I believe it's important you do. You mentioned Church, so you obviously have a strong believe in God. That's wonderful to hear, and I don't think you should allow your ex to take that away from you. God is for everyone, and faith is a beautiful thing to have and you need Him most of all right now.
I'm glad to hear you are going to those meetings it may seem like nothing to you but it's a very brave thing to do when you are feeling so low, and remember that step every week shows that you are able to do things and you've not allowed depression to completely consume your life, and I hope you are praising yourself for that, it is important you do.
I would also advise you seek professional help. It is so important you do. It really adds so much to your life. I'm not sure how the system works where you live. Do they have therapists that are on your National Health System? It's just that you mentioned having very little money and that is why I ask that question.
Oh I want you so much to get passed this, because I know how miserable it gets at times...but here is the one big thing...it can and does get better. Speak with us, and believe it inside, believe me that little piece of hope can burn brighter than imaginable, just keep believing in it...and we are here for you.
Heu A,
I agree, and I know how useless you can feel with it. I did and do sometimes feel that depression is the most selfish illness, cos it makes you want to hide and reveals an extremely scared side of you...but if you take those baby steps to scream back at it and say NO NO NO you can't take it's amazing the strengh that can come from that...and how that strength can snowball.