Feeling helpless

I do not know where to turn or how to go about this so here it goes..
I personally do not have a problem with drugs or alcohol. My boyfriend however seems to. It started with back pain and he would search for anyone who may have a percocet to ease the pain. A few months back I wanna say it was April, he was out all night. no phone call and didn't answer when I called. His phone eventually died so all I got was voicemail. My boyfriend has been an extreme creature of habit the year we have been together. He comes straight home from work and is in bed by 10. So I naturally was very worried called hospitals, police, even reported him missing!
I found his car at a know pill dealer with the help of a friend, but he was not there. So, I waited.. he finally showed up and said he was going to work. (yes his boss had been calling me all morning wondering where he was since he didn't show up.. again very not like him) So I came home and he arrived shortly after to shower and to show the police that I had in fact found him so they could close the case. He left, yet apparently did not go to work. He called me some time later to come get him.. claimed his wallet had been stolen and his entire paycheck was gone.
Since that day, I know he has been buying them from any one he can. yet is upset with me wanting to know where all my money is.. UM .... bills.... hello.. we have a place to live, a phone, and the other necessities still right.. I have confronted him on numerous occasions.
he has been "burned", by paying for perk and getting aspirin. He promised me that he was done with it then (this was in July) that we had more important things to spend money on.. (again..hello.. we have bills... as well as the need for a second car)..... I thought things were going okay for a while I would still see calls from the pill lady and he would explaine them away.. (I guess part of me is just stupid as well)
A couple weeks ago.. he was again out all night.. Not answering calls or txt leaving me to walk home from work at 10pm on a very dark road.. (do I really mean that little compared to how u feel when ur all jacked up on pills??!?!) He came flying in the house around 3:30am tearing drawers apart looking for money.. I told him all we had was the rent money under the mattress.. (I hate banks)... he took 100.00 claiming he got busted buying pills and he had only to pay a fine and they would let him go... sound fishy to ya'll? it did to me then and still bothers me.. I have seen no evidence of this alleged "bust" he claims to have "not had his phone"...
well.. I am the account holder on the cell phone so I checked the phone records... if you were not in possesion of your phone, you would not have been able to call the "new unknown person to me" at 3:30 am as you were pulling in to get more money.. again.. his entire pay check gone.. leaving me to juggle and struggle..
I found him in the drive way in tears at 7:30am.... This time I felt no sympathy for him.... I was just mad.. I knew in my heart he had been out screwing up.. which is why I checked the phone records.. he now deletes txt messages he sends and is never with out his phone in his pocket.. My black berry is more quiet than his phone and I do volunteer work with dogs!!
I confronted him later that day about how much money he spent a month on pills.. he gave me a 90.00-100.00 total.. I figure I should double it.. He NEVER has money.. yet gets mad when mine is gone.. again.. bills ..

He tells me he is off them.. yet his phone records tell me an entire different story.... the same number almost daily.. specially around pay day..
He was up txtin this number at 3:30 this morning!!
I am at a total loss... I know he is lying.. he has turned me into a person I vowed not to be.. which is untrusting... I check phone records.. I will snatch his phone if given the chance..
I want so badly to confront him.. but am scared to death he will fly off the handle.. I am afraid he will leave..

I battled depression for two years before allowing myself to give myself completly to someone.. and I chose to let him in.......... I now feel like my own problems are coming back.. He saved me and helped me though my issues.. but I don't know if I can help him.. he has to want it....

So I now feel like I am not enuf.. am I the reason he has turned to pills to feel better?
we also now have two children that we didn't have when we first became a couple.. they are his kids from a previous relationship.. I take care of them I make sure they have groceries.. I carry the burden...

I am rambling.. and I am sorry for that.. but I feel the extreme need to get this out!
I am welcoming any and all advice on how to not only help him.. but to save our relationship.... I am not a confrontational person so that makes it extra hard for me..
my own past comes back to haunt me when I attempt to think about confronting him with all i know..
ie the phone records.......

Thank you if you took the time to read my rambling story and thank you in advance for any advice anyone has to offer..

Hi at_a_loss, Welcome to SupportGroups.com . Please feel free to ramble and vent all you like here. You are right when you say that your boyfriend has to be willing and want help for himself. For yourself, have you thought about going to Alanon - http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ . Alanon is for loved ones of alcoholics. You will find support there and information on dealing with your boyfriend. If you don't want to go to Alanon face to face, you might try going to an online meeting. This site http://www.stepchat.com/ has online Alanon meetings. You can also do an intervention. These are some links for intervention that may be of help to you:

Keep coming and sharing with us. We are here for you. ((((hugs))))

Hello at a loss, I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through and will give you my thoughts as a former percocet addict. Your man needs help and needs it badly, you are right that he has to want the help but there are other ways as well, have you thought about a family and friend intervention? where everyone gets together to confront him about getting help and uses the tough love method of refusing to be in his life is he keeps klling his self. He is on a dowward spiral and his life is out of control from his addiction and unfortunately that means yours is out of control also as this affects you too.
Are you sure that it is only perks that he is using? I ask this because of the dissapearing he does at times, that is a known action of crack users. Please don't assume this but I would watch for signs of other addictions also.
He cannot beat this addiction alone, none of us can. Please think about the intervention and or giving him an altimatum. If you continue to do nothing and allow him to spend your money as well as his own with no consequences he will surely continue doing what he is doing. You are NOT responsible for his addiction at all so please never think it's because of you or your fault in ANYWAY SHAPE OR FORM. BUT, there are steps you can take to control YOUR life and the affects this is having on you and your finances. I would say it's time for a long sit down completely honest talk with him and don't be afraid to tell him how you feel. Nothing can ever be worked out with out being honest with each other and nothing will change if nobody does anything. You can't ignore this, it truly is a matter of life and death when it comes to addiction. Good luck and write back if you need an ear.