My sons mom hasn't let me seen my son in 9 months. I have paid my child support but im probably 400 behind. I have been paying and extra 25 to get caught up. The reason i was behind was that i had rotor cuff surgery on my left shoulder from an injury i sustained in Afghanistan. I have gone to court and the judges orders me to pay the past and i am. But within the time i haven't seen my son, his mom has gotten married and is also pregnant. Which that has nothing to do with me and i dont care. But what i do care about is seeing my son. I have filed petition after petition only to have my court dates pushed back. Also, when i did have court the judge said we would both wouldget a chance to talk yet after my sons mom was talking I got this big 45 seconds and was interrupted by the judge and that was the last time I spoke at that hearing. I have asked the judgeto acquit herself and remove herself from our case due to a biased opinion. and when I suggested it the judge told me that it was her decision if she was to step down or not. The courts have waived all her filing fees and course fees but yet i have to pay mine. My sons mom has never worked in her life and is just looking for the next hand out. Above all i "dont" care about the money i just want my son. He is 5 years old. I have missed his birthday, Christmas, easter and even my own birthday. I filed a month ago again and the court tells me they are backed up and i will get a letter for an upcoming date. I know my son misses me and wants to come home. He is treated unfairly by her husband and herself. I am completely lost right now. I work 50 hrs a week to keep a roof over my head and gas in my truck. Yet she gets a free pass. What am i to do? In addition to that she says that since i haven't seen him in over six months (cause of her) that she will file abandonment petition with the court and basically take my parental rights away from me. I cant lose my son. Now im so scared ill never see him again and when i think about it all i can do is cry. I just need some advice that would point me in the right direction.
**** man, it's rough. I know. 15 year old daughter with a vicious lying mother who moved a lot.
The fact that you and your son have a bond of 5 years already is good. I wouldn't doubt your son already looks up to you a great deal.
I understand that you are only worried about your son and I know from personal experience it hurts us, the father like nothing else.
Moms would sometime have our children believe we are uncaring assholes because of the time we spend apart when in fact that was part of the bargain when we signed up. Us the workers and warriors. Them, in charge of the home when we are away.
Your son loves you. Believe me. I won't BS you with all kinds of things you can do to show your son that you are always thinking about him.
5 is young and it's definitely one of the easiest times to be a parent. Regardless of what happens, stay consistent with visitation no matter what. It will only be a few years when your son starts thinking to himself, "My Dad is never late and always does the visit". Even if that starts now. As everyone acclimates to the new life he will take pride in his Dad. The support is for Mom and for us. The visits, gifts, and real fathering are what the child gets.
Hopefully the warrior spirit endures because you will need it for this. If you look at it right you will be an 18 year Veteran of an experience that broke many a man one day.
It's sacrifice with very little external gratitude for some. Endure, and one day when your son considers you, man to man, he'll know what you were made of. Love and commitment. It's what every human wants I think.
Thanks brother! Ya, its been a long road to adjust to civilian life but its good now. I just dont know why she would not want her son to be around his dad. I get the feeling she is trying to replace me with her new husband. She will never know what i sacrifices I have made in my young life. I spent my young adult life in a hostile country because it was the right thing to do. Yet, i get back here and get railroaded by our justice system.
She has no idea how much i have given up to see and be a father to my son. These women are so selfish it makes me sick. Oh i know when my son is old enough to decide where he lives he will choose to live with me. I dont drink, do drugs or smoke.
Its crazy how the judges look past a stable parent and give the child to an unstable parent. Do you know of a way to get the judge to dismiss herself? Fyi, all my judges have been females. Honestly, i have been given a total of 30 minutes to talk in all of my hearings combined. Yet, they think my request are not grounds for her to dismiss herself.
An attorney is a good idea or a help U file kind of organization that can get you in court. I’ve been to a place where I can get into mediation, then a court hearing to adopt the mediation report for as little as $400.
I had to become a tactician of a whole new kind. I didn’t get to do the laid back chill out parenting that my Dad was so good at ( A very good father).
It's likely Mom has fantasies of replacing you with the new husband. It sounds like she may be acting on those fantasies whether she realizes it or not.
I know it feels hardcore to consider what you have already considered but I have to put myself in my daughter's Moms shoes to understand why she does the BS that she does. I then try to move forward with an understanding of the “reality”. Exercise putting yourself in her shoes and be liberal with the compassion and understanding. I know that sounds fluffy but you are the one that was wounded in Afghanistan. No one of a higher caliber is going to think you weak for conciencously handling the situation for what it is. Try to remember fallout from Mom going through stressful things can affect your son big time. You are effectively trying to nonviolently subdue a person on the attack with a human shield. She may feel this weak and desperate when she confronts you. Consider hard the best way to treat this woman who your son loves immensely. Also think about how she is going to treat him when he starts looking more like you.
Bro, I know it’s hard to accept but she, your son and even that other fool are your family now. Let that soak in man if it hasn't already. It took too long for me to see this.
Handle this very well if you can. Your son will appreciate it. You will also teach him a thing or two for his life. Think about it. Are the divorce rates going to improve in the future? I hope the best for your son same as my daughter but you are surely teaching him a thing or two about this modern life.
You are a father but you are also like a case worker now. Stay on top of school attendance. Have your name added to the school emergency card. Email and call his teachers as needed. They will think you are super dad. One of the best things I ever did was let my kid's teachers know I cared a great deal about her.
Hell ya man thanks. It helps to have another persons view on things and i appreciate it. Especially from a brother in arms.
A worker but perhaps still a brother in arms.
Thanks really though. I wish you the best of luck your daughter.
@Marines06 That’s so sad 
I’m so sorry all this is happening to you, stranger or not. I feel for you. Although I don’t have any kids, I know that to a parent they mean the world to them. To a good parent, which means you come off that way. At least from reading your post. Unfortunately courts always favor the mother of the child, she sounds like a real shady person. It sucks you got mixed up with someone like that BUT you got your son out of it right? I think it’ll work out for you 
just let them know what your post said. If they haven’t heard those details yet of course.
Thanks. I've felt lost too. Many times.
Ya, it just seems like every time i take one step forward, i end up taking two steps back. Thank you though.
@Marines06 have you spoken to legal aid. I am not sure if you are still active but even as a vet there is legal aid still available to us veterans. My wife is currently hiding in another state with her boyfriend. I haven’t spoken to my son in 50 days, he is seven and she is brainwashing him. Before she tried to destroy me he wanted me to leave her and take him or just get her to leave so I could be just us. I understand your pain and can empathize.
Do you have an attorney? You might get quicker response if you file for custody using the reason that she has kept you from seeing your son and that it was not your fault.